Capitalizing on a recent story about fossilized vomit, paleontology students hypothesized all the reasons why a prehistoric sea predator might puke. Knowing that funding is a concern, they aimed to generate excitement by proposing more relatable causes for the vomit:
• Following the consumption of too many sea-beers, the sea predator got alcohol poisoning and vomited outside of a sea-Denny’s.
• Now inside sea-Denny’s, the sea predator tried to eat the Lumberjack Slam in one sitting and vomited again.
• After taking a gamble on a new food truck, the sea predator got food poisoning with severe vomiting and diarrhea. New research should include looking for the fossilized diarrhea.
• He got the vomiting bug because his house had six roommates and one toilet.
• The sea predator’s girlfriend, tired of her boyfriend’s wandering eye, bonked him on the head with a sea-frying pan. The concussion caused nausea and vomiting.
• He thought he could handle the Scrambler at the carnival. He could not.
• As a college sea-nior looking at entry level jobs, realizing the lopsided ratio of starting salaries to student loan debt made him physically ill.
• Prior to going on stage with his band, Pterosmith, anxiety made him vomit.
• His new anti-anxiety medication (SeaLexa) caused unexpected nausea, which caused unexpected vomiting, which caused more anxiety.
• He was poisoned by the lead singer of a rival band (Ptears For Fears), which led to vomiting and ultimately death.
• He was an avant-garde visual artist who made art by consuming and then vomiting inedible starfish.
• News of a life ending asteroid hurtling towards Earth made him realize that his dream would die with him. Knowing that the world would never see his rock opera caused nausea and vomiting.