1. The Airport Terminal Taxi Queue
Stand in the beating hot sun as you wait for the prearranged town car to bring you to your hotel. But be on high alert for a mysterious man in sunglasses spying from across the way. He’s impossible to miss – even though he’s ostensibly trying to go unnoticed, he’ll be leaning casually against his own car with crossed arms, giving you ample time to clock the menacing scar running the length of his cheek. Such local flair! Now this is living.
2. The Outdoor Shopping Bazaar
This lively maze of stalls is jam-packed with all sorts of trinkets, including the antique chest you’ve been assigned to intercept because it houses a black-market diamond. Bustling with locals and tourists alike, this bazaar is the perfect place to overturn a fruit cart as you flee an agile pursuer on foot. You’ll be writing a five-star Yelp review for this underrated gem by the day’s end.
3. The Residential Cobblestone Street
This neighborhood where your spy organization put you up is full of old world charm. For instance, your apartment doesn’t have an elevator, but you don’t mind the three-story walk-up because you only brought a small backpack (which is honestly confusing because you’ve already changed your clothes like four times). The winding streets – full of potholes and blind turns – are ideal for a chase sequence, as long as all parties involved stick to stolen vespas and cars whose side mirrors have been smashed off. You’re in the thick of local culture now, baby!
4. The Embassy
Two hundred teeny-tiny steps lead to the imposing columned façade of this historic building in the capital city (which will go unnamed). But wait, whose embassy is this exactly? Like, what governing body is affiliated here? And how is that connected to the spy organization? What is this alleged “red tape” everyone keeps talking about? Hmm, sounds like it’d be best to just go rogue and follow your gut on this one. Don’t forget to snap some photos before you leave, though – it’s cheesy, but so worth it.
5. The Night Club
If you’re traveling with children or senior citizens, perhaps it’s best they sit this one out. This neon-lit venue is simply perfect for a quick, trancelike montage. Swing by the bar for a quick drink, and take precisely zero sips before your night goes from vibe-y to violent in a matter of seconds. Between flashes of the strobe light, you’ll catch a glimpse of that same mystery guy with a scar. Is he following you? Inevitably, the club will break out in gunfire, and you’ll have to make a hasty escape through the secret rooms in the back, only to find the alley way completely empty. Your friends back home would get such a kick out of this.
6. The Art Museum
Take in some highbrow culture in a sleek, pristine setting. The floorplan of this building would take a normal person at least a month to master, but fortunately it all comes very intuitively to you, as if by magic. So when it’s time to disarm all the cameras, you never miss a beat. But wait, that security guard over there – oh dammit, it’s that same jabroni with the scar, isn’t it? Better hope all this artwork is insured because it’s about to get messy. Remember, even if this trip feels super go-go-go, you’re making such amazing memories.
7. The High-Tech Lair Built Into the Side of a Mountain
Just forty-five minutes outside of the city center, this high-altitude spot is the perfect place to unplug and get off the grid. Well, except that this lair is actually a high-security stockpile of nuclear weapons, so really, it’s maybe the most on-the-grid a thing can be. Pretty much, this is the grid; if the villain wins, his weird lil’ operation here is the new epicenter of energy and power as humankind knows it. If the mood seems right, consider roundhouse kicking yourself to victory. After all, who knows when you’ll next be back, and you don’t want to regret playing it safe. To ensure your safety in physical combat, don’t forget to believe in yourself. That always seems to be a key factor in your success.
Whatever itinerary you plan, remember to double bag the liquids in your luggage! Bon voyage!
