Is woke culture getting you down? Is your plight being ignored? Do you feel so slighted by political correctness that you see no other choice but to leave the world of comedy in an effort to inspire sympathy for gritty anti-heroes?
Here are six tone-deaf movie pitches that might just be for you!
1. The Right Side of History
Frank Henry is taking a stand – for Christopher Columbus. The Right Side of History is one man’s harrowing journey to ignore countless acts of rape and genocide against indigenous peoples, all for the sake of calling the second Monday in October the thing he’s used to calling it instead of calling it something different. The Right Side of History will leave audiences rolling their eyes and wondering why they bothered.
2. I Didn’t Do It
More than twenty women have accused Shawn Anderson of sexual impropriety. There’s only one problem – he says he didn’t do it. As infuriating as it is unbelievable, I Didn’t Do It answers the question nobody should have asked because it’s improbable and offensive: What if all these women are lying? I Didn’t Do It will leave you feeling like you’ve been transported to another time, but you haven’t. This is happening right now, in 2019.
3. Gillis
Shane Gillis was on top of the world. After ten years of producing bottom-of-the-barrel comedy, Gillis landed a job at Saturday Night Live. Then, the unbelievable happened – public videos that had always been readily available surfaced, revealing his racist attitudes toward Asian-Americans. As a result, he lost his gig at SNL. From white fragility to unapologetic apologies, Gillis will leave you saying, “Yeah, that seems like the right call.”
4. The Flag
It’s important to honor history – at least that’s what they’re telling themselves. The Flag follows a group of upstate New Yorkers who don’t believe in participation trophies, but who proudly wave their Confederate flags with a perplexing sincerity. Trucks, jackets, boats, windows, dog collars – The Flag can go anywhere, and does. This film will leave you wondering: How can one group of people afford so many flags?
5. Suck on This: An Ode to Plastic Straws
Plastic straws are under attack, apparently, and our very freedom hangs in the balance, I guess? Suck on This follows an American couple on a mission to fight for their core beliefs – that global warming is a hoax, using plastic straws is an essential part of the American experience, and owning the libs is a way of life. This film will leave you irritated, thirsty, and unsure of what the point was.
6. Not in My Bathroom
Regina Cline isn’t asking for much, just to know which gender was assigned to each of her classmates at birth before they enter a public restroom. As invasive as it is irrelevant, Not in My Bathroom is about standing up for what you believe in, even if it means dehumanizing children and adults who just want to take a piss. This film will leave you with the sinking feeling that you can’t relate to your fellow humans anymore, and that the end of the world may be coming very, very soon.
