Close Menu
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Robot Butt
    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      Some Thoughts On Masters Of The Universe (2026)

      June 4, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Dracula 3000

      June 2, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Charles Band’s Crash!

      May 26, 2026

      From the people that brought you KPop Demon Hunters

      May 23, 2026

      FUN & HARMLESS WAYS TO MOTIVATE YOUR BLUES MUSICIAN BFF

      May 12, 2026

      EVERY LEGAL CHARGE BY HIS MAJESTY’S GOVERNMENT AGAINST “THE ANDREW FORMERLY KNOWN AS PRINCE”

      May 4, 2026

      Jelly Roll and Post Malone Embark On “We’re The Same Guy” Tour 

      April 29, 2026

      COUNTRY SONG TITLES FOR DOGS

      February 18, 2026

      Some Thoughts On Masters Of The Universe (2026)

      June 4, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Dracula 3000

      June 2, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Charles Band’s Crash!

      May 26, 2026

      From the people that brought you KPop Demon Hunters

      May 23, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Pocket Notebooks

      May 31, 2026

      You Won’t Believe How Much This Panel From A 1950’s Horror Comic Is Still Scary Today

      May 18, 2026

      A Cartoon About Alarm Clocks

      February 4, 2026

      Happy Holidays! Here’s A Cartoon About Christmas Trees

      December 25, 2025

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Coffee Comrades

      February 26, 2026

      THE THREE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ARE NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS

      January 23, 2026

      Beckett versus Beckett

      October 4, 2025
    • History

      Top Hegseth-Like Quotes Throughout History, And From My Neighbor Phil

      May 3, 2026

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      We Put These AI Features in Your Faucet Whether You Like it Or Not

      May 20, 2026

      Anecdotal Evidence AI Isn’t As Smart As Our Parents Think It Is

      May 16, 2026

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Peanut Butter is Coming Back to School!

      March 6, 2026

      Local Airline Pilot Takes Train To Work

      April 2, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Detailed Analysis Of My Performative Instagram Photo Dump

      June 6, 2026

      Your Airline Pilot is Going Through a Really Bad Breakup

      June 5, 2026

      An Open Letter to the Saltwater Taffy Still Sitting In My Kitchen

      June 3, 2026

      How to Stay Calm When Cursed Out by a Teenage Meth Tycoon While Teaching the Pythagorean Theorem

      June 1, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      I Want All The Office Chairs and Tables Stored Where They Definitely Won’t Get Destroyed: Underneath The Wrestling Ring

      May 28, 2026

      Woman Pretending to Like Sports to Sleep With Man Asks Him Which Soccer Teams Played in the Super Bowl

      February 21, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      LIFEHACK: When Your Dad Texts You About Not Understanding The Bad Bunny Halftime Show, Reuse Your Responses From The Kendrick Lamar Halftime Show

      February 8, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      Seconds Before Competing At The Highest Level, Entire World Comes Together To Boo J.D. Vance

      February 6, 2026

      HEARTBREAKING: Middle Schooler With Mad Libs Book Out Of Bad Words

      January 26, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      SPONSORED POST: Two Lawyers Standing Back To Back On A Billboard

      May 23, 2026

      Inspired By Drake’s Work Ethic, We’re Going To Try To Release Three Articles On The Same Day

      May 15, 2026

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      SPONSORED POST: Two Lawyers Standing Back To Back On A Billboard

      May 23, 2026

      Inspired By Drake’s Work Ethic, We’re Going To Try To Release Three Articles On The Same Day

      May 15, 2026

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      Detailed Analysis Of My Performative Instagram Photo Dump

      June 6, 2026

      Your Airline Pilot is Going Through a Really Bad Breakup

      June 5, 2026

      Some Thoughts On Masters Of The Universe (2026)

      June 4, 2026

      An Open Letter to the Saltwater Taffy Still Sitting In My Kitchen

      June 3, 2026

      Detailed Analysis Of My Performative Instagram Photo Dump

      June 6, 2026

      Your Airline Pilot is Going Through a Really Bad Breakup

      June 5, 2026

      Some Thoughts On Masters Of The Universe (2026)

      June 4, 2026

      An Open Letter to the Saltwater Taffy Still Sitting In My Kitchen

      June 3, 2026

      Detailed Analysis Of My Performative Instagram Photo Dump

      June 6, 2026

      Your Airline Pilot is Going Through a Really Bad Breakup

      June 5, 2026

      Some Thoughts On Masters Of The Universe (2026)

      June 4, 2026

      An Open Letter to the Saltwater Taffy Still Sitting In My Kitchen

      June 3, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Home»All Content»The Hub»Articles»Life»If You Can’t Be Nice, Shop Online or Risk the Downfall of Society
    Life

    If You Can’t Be Nice, Shop Online or Risk the Downfall of Society

    Pete MoseyBy Pete MoseyAugust 1, 2019No Comments4 Mins Read
    Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email
    Woman Shopping

    Cantankerous customers to retail workers are like fleas to rabid dogs. Staff in stores are already ground down by the cogs of consumerism, underpaid and overworked. And then these pompous and vile creatures add their bile to the already potent misery mix, ruining what promised to be just a regular pity-filled shift of unhappiness.

    If you are one of the people who feel the need to go into stores and do things that annoy the staff, it is time for you to take a good hard look at your life and ask yourself some soul-searching questions. And frankly, after exploring these questions, if you can’t be nice, you need to start shopping online.

    What Kind of World Do You think You’re Creating With Your Attitude?

    When the shoe is on the other foot, and the tables are turned, you, the great and the grumpy, don’t like that. Being patronized to the point of anger means a store assistant is on the verge of going postal; a mild sarcastic remark from the aforementioned staff member or disinterest in a customer’s face and attitude will no doubt result in negative online reviews, or requests to see the manager. Store staff cannot win. You’ve stacked the game too high against them. And now, what they should do is pick up their things and walk out and never return to this retail hell, leaving you to your self-scans and your mystery items in the bagging area.

    Is this the world you want? Derelict, post-apocalyptic retail units, watched over by machines that are thankfully unable to cry right through their coffee break as a result of the hate you force-feed them? A few years from now, you’ll be stalking your prey down the freezer aisle. You won’t pass a friendly shelf-stacker who can let you know where the onion rings are. You’ll have scared them all away, only to be replaced by replenishment drones capable of the automatic distribution of ten pallets of stock per hour and completely incapable of processing your verbal tirade.

    Don’t Let Your Anger Get Out of Hand

    When you’ve crushed all of humanity out of the service sector with your hate and scorn, what’s next? Who will you turn your anger on then? The doctors who cure you when you’re sick? The people who drive you when you’re too drunk to crawl home? Will you collectively convene on an industry and take out its soul like you’re doing to the service industry? They’re already hiring AIs to do medical assessments. Are you going to push medicine off the cliff too?

    Eventually, your inability to be nice to other people will cause a fully automated society. You and the rest of society can scowl at each other in leisure then, avoiding all kinds of workplace unhappiness brought about by the need to interact with the public.

    So, take heed. Don’t let your anger consume you. Join a tai chi class immediately and check out the prices of holidaying in a Tibetan monastery. You are the keeper of your own destiny, and unless you find the zen that the world needs, you’ll drive us all towards a Terminator-style, us versus the robots scenario very quickly. And let’s be honest, nobody wants to start having regular shootouts with time-traveling robotic bodybuilding mayors. 

    Try a Little Respect and Understanding

    Next time you’re in a store, stop and talk to your sales staff. Ask them about their day, and empathize when they tell you about how the staffing budget has been cut again to protect the margins of the products that you won’t pay more for.

    Hear them when they tell you that even though staffing has decreased, they are handling more stock than ever because every week you come in and buy extra stuff you don’t need and then throw it away the next day.

    And understand them when they tell you that they are underpaid because their wages don’t move up in line with the ever-increasing volume of junk that you’re buying. You probably think it’s okay because they’re paid with gratitude. But finally, know that the only time these people hear the words “thank you,” it’s coming from their own mouths when they say it to you, right before they tell you to have a great day.

    Pete Mosey shopping
    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Pete Mosey

    Peter Wyn Mosey is a Welsh freelance writer. He has written and performed comedy at the Edinburgh Festival, written several plays and has ghostwritten half of the typos on the internet. Website: https://peterwynmosey.com/.

    Related Posts

    Detailed Analysis Of My Performative Instagram Photo Dump

    June 6, 2026

    Your Airline Pilot is Going Through a Really Bad Breakup

    June 5, 2026

    An Open Letter to the Saltwater Taffy Still Sitting In My Kitchen

    June 3, 2026

    Comments are closed.

    Search Robot Butt
    Read More Robot Butt

    The 50 Best Movies of the 1990s

    NASA History: What Were the Objectives of Every Apollo Mission?

    These Are the Weirdest Promotions in Major League Baseball History

    The Robot Butt Podcasts
    Robot Butt Podcasts

    Check out the Robot Butt Podcasts and then give a listen to our friends below:

    ROGUE SQUADRON PODCAST

    Star Wars, beer, music, video games and more!
    The Robot Butt Videos
    Robot Butt Videos

    Unrelenting comedy in video form!
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram Pinterest
    © 2026 ThemeSphere. Designed by ThemeSphere.

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.