Abbott: Well, let’s see, tonight we have Doctor Who on at 8:30.
Costello: Isn’t this your favorite show?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: So do you know the show’s name?
Abbott: I sure do.
Costello: Then tell me the doctor’s name.
Abbott: Like I said, Doctor Who’s on at 8:30.
Costello: You have the TV Guide in front of you.
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Then you should know the guy’s name.
Abbott: I’m telling you his name!
Costello: So who’s the doctor?
Abbott: Yeah.
Costello: Go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on the show.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The name of the doctor on the show!
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The name of the doctor that the show is named after.
Abbott: Who!
Costello: What are you askin’ me for? I’m askin’ you!
Abbott: I’m not asking you, I’m telling you.
Costello: You ain’t tellin’ me nothin’. I’m askin’ you, who’s the doctor!
Abbott: That’s it!
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me!
Abbott: Who!
Costello: The doctor on the show!
Abbott: That’s his name.
Costello: That’s whose name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That’s the man’s name!
Costello: That’s whose name?
Abbott: Yeah!
Costello: Well then what is it? Tell me!
Abbott: Who is the doctor.
Costello: What are you askin’ me for?! I’m askin’ you, who’s the doctor?!
Abbott: That’s it.
Costello: Please tell me the name of the doctor.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on the TV show that plays the doctor.
Abbott: That’s it.
Costello: What’s the guy’s name?
Abbott: No, Who.
Costello: I know I’m askin’ you who’s Doctor Who.
Abbott: Yes, Who’s the doctor.
Costello: That’s what I’m askin’ you! Who’s the doctor?
Abbott: Who’s the doctor.
Costello: I don’t know!
Abbott: You don’t know what?
Costello: Who is the doctor!
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Just tell me the fella’s name playin’ the doctor.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy playin’ the doctor.
Abbott: That’s his name.
Costello: Who’s the doctor?
Abbott: Who is.
Costello: I don’t know.
Abbott: He’s the doctor.
Costello: Look, when you watch the TV show, who is the doctor that the show is named after? What is his name?
Abbott: No. It’s Who, is his name.
Costello: What?
Abbott: No it’s Who.
Costello: OKAY. WHO IS HIS NAME?
Abbott: Yes!
Abbott’s wife Betty walks into the room.
Betty: Oooo! Are you boys watching Doctor Who…
Costello: You also have no idea who’s the doctor?
Betty: What? Of course I know that!
Costello: Okay. Who’s the doctor?
Betty: Yes!
Betty looks at her husband. She’s both humored and bewildered.
Abbott: Don’t look at me. I’ve been telling him it’s Doctor Who the whole time. He just doesn’t want to listen.
Costello: I am listening!! I’m just saying, repeatedly, WHAT IS THE DOCTOR’S NAME!!??
Betty and Abbott: NO, WHO!
Costello: WHAT!
Betty and Abbott: WHO!
Costello: WHAT!???
Costello stands up, grabs a stack of newspapers, throws them on the ground, and in a huff, storms out.
The door slams.
The show comes on.
Betty: What a strange man he is.
Abbott: Who?
Betty: Well yes, but also you-know-who…
