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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
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      Tubi Tuesday: The Hellraiser Sequels Should Have Copied The Critters Sequels

      June 23, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Spanglish

      June 16, 2026

      Sucking Dick Is Fascist

      June 14, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Masters of the Universe (1987)

      June 9, 2026

      FUN & HARMLESS WAYS TO MOTIVATE YOUR BLUES MUSICIAN BFF

      May 12, 2026

      EVERY LEGAL CHARGE BY HIS MAJESTY’S GOVERNMENT AGAINST “THE ANDREW FORMERLY KNOWN AS PRINCE”

      May 4, 2026

      Jelly Roll and Post Malone Embark On “We’re The Same Guy” Tour 

      April 29, 2026

      COUNTRY SONG TITLES FOR DOGS

      February 18, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: The Hellraiser Sequels Should Have Copied The Critters Sequels

      June 23, 2026

      Local Theatre Group Reimagines Rent As Nineteenth Century Opera 

      June 22, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Spanglish

      June 16, 2026

      Sucking Dick Is Fascist

      June 14, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About A Prawn

      June 13, 2026

      Two Cartoons About Apples

      June 11, 2026

      A Cartoon About Pocket Notebooks

      May 31, 2026

      You Won’t Believe How Much This Panel From A 1950’s Horror Comic Is Still Scary Today

      May 18, 2026

      PAPPY’S ICED TEA

      June 21, 2026

      This End Up

      June 7, 2026

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Coffee Comrades

      February 26, 2026
    • History

      Local Theatre Group Reimagines Rent As Nineteenth Century Opera 

      June 22, 2026

      Report Card Comments for William, Duke of Normandy

      June 15, 2026

      Top Hegseth-Like Quotes Throughout History, And From My Neighbor Phil

      May 3, 2026

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      Scientists Say Newly Discovered InstaCart Receipts Reveal Surprising, Interesting Insights Into Habits, Lifestyle of Blue Whales

      June 20, 2026

      We Put These AI Features in Your Faucet Whether You Like it Or Not

      May 20, 2026

      Anecdotal Evidence AI Isn’t As Smart As Our Parents Think It Is

      May 16, 2026

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Local Airline Pilot Takes Train To Work

      April 2, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      So What If We Had Back-to-Back Biblical Plagues?! Prom Can Still Happen!

      June 24, 2026

      PAPPY’S ICED TEA

      June 21, 2026

      Robot Butt’s Real Estate Investing Tips

      June 12, 2026

      Nietzsche’s Yelp Reviews

      June 10, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      TRUMP SPORTING HEADLINES PREDICTED TO APPEAR THIS SUMMER

      June 17, 2026

      I Want All The Office Chairs and Tables Stored Where They Definitely Won’t Get Destroyed: Underneath The Wrestling Ring

      May 28, 2026

      Woman Pretending to Like Sports to Sleep With Man Asks Him Which Soccer Teams Played in the Super Bowl

      February 21, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      TRUMP SPORTING HEADLINES PREDICTED TO APPEAR THIS SUMMER

      June 17, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      Seconds Before Competing At The Highest Level, Entire World Comes Together To Boo J.D. Vance

      February 6, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      SPONSORED POST: Two Lawyers Standing Back To Back On A Billboard

      May 23, 2026

      Inspired By Drake’s Work Ethic, We’re Going To Try To Release Three Articles On The Same Day

      May 15, 2026

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      TRUMP SPORTING HEADLINES PREDICTED TO APPEAR THIS SUMMER

      June 17, 2026

      SPONSORED POST: Two Lawyers Standing Back To Back On A Billboard

      May 23, 2026

      Inspired By Drake’s Work Ethic, We’re Going To Try To Release Three Articles On The Same Day

      May 15, 2026

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      So What If We Had Back-to-Back Biblical Plagues?! Prom Can Still Happen!

      June 24, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: The Hellraiser Sequels Should Have Copied The Critters Sequels

      June 23, 2026

      David Blaine Delivers Remarks After Being Sworn In As Attorney General

      June 23, 2026

      Local Theatre Group Reimagines Rent As Nineteenth Century Opera 

      June 22, 2026

      So What If We Had Back-to-Back Biblical Plagues?! Prom Can Still Happen!

      June 24, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: The Hellraiser Sequels Should Have Copied The Critters Sequels

      June 23, 2026

      David Blaine Delivers Remarks After Being Sworn In As Attorney General

      June 23, 2026

      Local Theatre Group Reimagines Rent As Nineteenth Century Opera 

      June 22, 2026

      So What If We Had Back-to-Back Biblical Plagues?! Prom Can Still Happen!

      June 24, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: The Hellraiser Sequels Should Have Copied The Critters Sequels

      June 23, 2026

      David Blaine Delivers Remarks After Being Sworn In As Attorney General

      June 23, 2026

      Local Theatre Group Reimagines Rent As Nineteenth Century Opera 

      June 22, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Columns

    Which Makes More Sense: Count Chocula or the Things DJ Khaled Yells?

    By Megan SchwartzApril 3, 2018

    Welcome to the Conceptual Cage Match, a column asking all the hard-hitting questions you never knew you had. Today we…

    Life

    Decluttering: Things in the Refrigerator and What to Do With Them

    By Sarah RistineApril 2, 2018

    Buttermilk: This doesn’t technically ever go bad right? Keep. Capers: What are they? No one knows. They give the condiment shelf…

    Breaking News

    Easter Bunny Protects Earth From Jesus Christ’s Return for Another Year

    By Robot Butt News Corp.April 1, 2018

    As the prophecy stated more than two thousand years ago, Jesus Christ plans to one day return to this Earth to…

    Life

    Things to Find on Easter This Year Besides Hideous and Rotten Hard-Boiled Eggs Decorated by Your Offspring

    By Sloane KenivanApril 1, 2018

    A fulfilling hobby A sense of humor Emotional stability Bigfoot A winning lottery ticket Our dear Lord and Savior Jesus…

    Sports

    The Best Place to Watch a Baseball Game at the Ballpark Based on Your Zodiac Sign

    By Olivia SieckMarch 30, 2018

    Many people look to their horoscope for advice in all areas of life. And since baseball season is finally here,…

    Life

    What to Do When Your Grandma’s at 2%

    By Emily AltimariMarch 30, 2018

    She was at a stable 20% throughout the holiday season, but fuck! Your grandma just dipped to 2% out of…

    Politics

    If The Right Treated the Kids From ‘Saved by the Bell’ the Way They’ve Treated the Parkland Survivors

    By Chris BrotzmanMarch 29, 2018

    How the right has treated the Parkland students: “This is how you look when you claim Cuban heritage yet don’t…

    Sports

    The Dos and Don’ts of Sneaking Beer Into a Ballpark

    By Olivia SieckMarch 29, 2018

    Baseball season is my favorite time of year: getting a farmer’s tan, staying to watch the 15th inning because you…

    Sports

    The Texas Rangers Are Spitting in God’s Face With the Dilly Dog, a Hot Dog Stuffed Inside a Pickle

    By SteveMarch 28, 2018

    Humanity’s greatest fault is its hubris, which is on display every year as baseball stadiums around the country unveil their…

    Sports

    Rejected Promotions for Major League Baseball’s 2018 Season

    By Erik Sternberger & Matt SchlichtingMarch 27, 2018

    Los Angeles Dodgers 7th Inning Valet Giveaway The first 200 fans get a ticket to have a valet pick up…

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