In a move that is now being called “awkward,” the President Trump officially re-striped and re-branded its West Wing parking…
Psychiatric Evaluation Patient Name: [REDACTED] Date: June 2025 Section A: Please Explain Why Labubu Dolls Controlling Your Mind Is “Cool,…
The trio known for doing improv, sketch, and their day jobs all over Chicago have decided to bring their absurdist…
Face it, the old model of soap opera just won’t do. Who cares if Donna has gone back to her…
PORTLAND—Thousands of 20-somethings are being forced to weather a shortage of good vibes as recent high demand has stretched freight…
Chief Executive Officer (CEO): the King of the Wankers. Zero brains and even less experience. A privately educated dog turd…
Entry 1 Awoke at 5:00 AM to the Michael Scott Paper Company theme song on repeat, which is surprisingly terrifying at…
Nepo Babies. Where would Hollywood be without them? And where would you be if you had refused to hire your nose-ringed,…
Inbox (121) Mailer-Daemon Undeliverable: Delivery Status Notification (Failure) 10:02 AM Your message wasn’t delivered to dan@schlinnco.com because the address couldn’t…
SEATTLE, WA – When graffiti appeared on the front of a new building in the Chinatown-International District over the weekend,…