Doctor Abernathy studied the chart, realizing his day would be stressful. The EKG revealed Mrs. Durn had a slightly irregular heartbeat, devastating news for any coffee lover. Doctor Abernathy hated upsetting his patients. Maybe he wouldn’t mention the irregular heartbeat this visit? After all, it was only a tick above normal, and she’d be back next month for a checkup. He closed Mrs. Durn’s chart, grabbed the chart for his next patient, and down the hall he went. Doctor Abernathy knocked before entering the examination room. On the table sat the most muscular person he’d ever seen, his giant chest…
Author: Alex Dermody
Alex Dermody
Alex Dermody's fiction has been most recently featured in The Seattle Star and Flash Fiction Magazine. His published work can be found on Instagram @alexdermodywrites.
Psychiatric Evaluation Patient Name: [REDACTED] Date: June 2025 Section A: Please Explain Why Labubu Dolls Controlling Your Mind Is “Cool, I Guess.” Because the Labubu thing is whatever. I’ve always been different. I win raffles. I catch foul balls. It makes sense the dolls chose me, but I’m not proud of it. Being controlled by Labubus might be a big deal to other people, but for me it’s normal. Section B: In Your Own Words, Describe the Incident at the Fountain. Like I told Judge Gonzalez, the Labubus made me drive to the mall food court for bourbon chicken. Then…
As Lloyd wheeled his unopened box of grandparents through the mall, he couldn’t help but feel a little stupid. It was the same walk of shame from three years ago, when Lloyd exchanged a barely-used set of Classic Turbo models for these Classic Premiums. Deep down, Lloyd thought he loved grandparents. But between work, dating, friends. Lloyd barely had time to take a crap. Plus, grandparents were forever. If Lloyd changed his mind again, he would simply drive down to GranStop and buy another set. Yet, stepping inside the store, the walls lined with every kind of grandparent imaginable—old,…