We at Boeing are deeply concerned about passenger safety. That’s why as soon as our aircraft started dropping out of the sky like the backwards rapture had begun, we were the first to notify the FAA of safety alert problems in the 737 Max. Because of our commitment to human preservation, we are now installing ejectable seats* on all passenger jets from this day forward. Your life should be in your own hands, not that of some lowly factory worker who is suing our company for shoddy production. Your life definitely shouldn’t rest with the stupid pilots we blame for…
Author: Noel Hunter
Noel Hunter
N. Hunter is a comedy performer and writer in New York City. She has performed at Gotham Comedy Club, The Laugh Factory, the PIT, and the Magnet Theaters. She also has written a non-humorous book. One day she hopes to never grow up. Here's her website: https://www.nhuntercomedy.com/.
In these times of uncertainty and turmoil, it’s heartening to see Democrats come together and demonstrate such fervor for leadership. This election cycle is gettin’ lit, but the fyre is now out of control. While we appreciate the sheer number of you showing incredible interest in demolishing “Don the Con,” we regret to inform you that we may have oversold just how many people we can fit on this presidential island. We’re gonna need to ask you to BACK OFF. Please understand – the situation is grave. You may have seen our video trailer of Kamala Harris, Bernie Sanders, and…
The top toys of 2018 were all about unicorn poop! A magical unicorn making dookie fun through multi-colored doo doo slime is the beginning of a new era. It is true that unicorns defecate just like kids, so letting them play with it is super educational and exciting too! Think slimy shit is awesome because it’s decorated in rainbow colors? Cool, because toy manufacturers everywhere have been inspired by this whimsical toy and are taking this to a whole new glorious bodily fluid-filled level! Here are just a few of the toys making their debut in 2019: Hocking Loogie Wowza…
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Holy shit! Christian Bale just thanked me for inspiring him?! CHRISTIAN FUCKING BALE?! I mean, I didn’t even think he knew who I was for Christ’s sake! This is just so amazing. And to be finally acknowledged for all the hard work I do! I spent many years feeding ideas into Dick Cheney’s head. Had him pegged when he was only six years old and smugly yanked on a little girl’s ponytail, and he didn’t even like her! Just thought it’d be funny to watch her scream. I said to myself…