Winter Morning Startup “Come on, start. Please start.” “It’s 12 degrees. What do you expect?” “I expect you to start when I turn the key.” “I’m not a Tesla. Give me a minute to think about it.” “The neighbors are watching through their windows.” “Then maybe you should have started me five minutes ago instead of scraping ice with a credit card.” “That wasn’t a credit card. It was an expired Blockbuster card.” “Even worse.” Radio/Music “Why is the radio preset to a country station?” “You were the last one driving.” “I don’t listen to country music.” “Then explain the…
Author: Chris Turner
Chris Turner
Chris Turner is an award-winning Canadian writer and filmmaker based in Halifax, Nova Scotia. His films have screened at 90+ festivals worldwide (including TIFF), winning 30+ awards and airing on CBC and Bravo! His writing spans humor, horror, and comic books, with a #1 bestseller in horror fiction on Amazon. Upright Citizens Brigade trained in improv/sketch/stand-up. Contributor to Slackjaw, Points in Case, Robot Butt, Little Old Lady Comedy, Frazzled, and more. www.christurneronline.com
The Destination You Never Planned For But Somehow Always End Up At So you’ve moved back in with your parents at 29, your dating app says “There’s no one new around you”, and you just discovered your high school nemesis is now your boss’s boss. Congratulations! You’ve found Rock Bottom, where your mom’s book club has started a group chat about your life choices. TOP ATTRACTIONS The Museum of Bad Decisions Open 24/7 in your mind Walk through our extensive permanent collection featuring your greatest hits: “The Haircut I Got From That Groupon,” “The MLM Scheme I Convinced My Family to…