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    Home»All Content»Uncanny Valley»Breaking News»Breasts Cast Shadow Over Day at the Beach
    Breaking News

    Breasts Cast Shadow Over Day at the Beach

    Robot Butt News Corp.By Robot Butt News Corp.May 1, 2014Updated:March 13, 2019No Comments3 Mins Read
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    Life's a Beach!

    St. Petersburg, FL – The sun was shining hot and the ocean breeze was blowing cool as the Peterson family made their way down to the beach. On their yearly trip to St. Petersburg to visit their grandparents, the Petersons could hardly wait to get out of the house and onto the sand. The day was lining up to be one of the best this family had ever had.

    That is, until this family beach day came to a grinding halt for youngest child, 14-year-old TJ Peterson. TJ had just sat himself under the family’s big beach umbrella to get some sunscreen on before running out into the ocean. But just as he was about to sprint out into the water, TJ’s world collapsed around him.

    Just three beach towels down from where the family was sitting was a woman undoing her bikini top. According to sources on the scene, TJ froze in place for upwards of 5 seconds, before slowly backing up to the beach chair under the umbrella and collapsing into it.

    Already in the water was TJ’s father, Randall.

    “I was waving at TJ at the time, trying to get him to come over to the water, when I saw him stop dead in his tracks,” said Randall, “That’s when I noticed her. That smoking little number without a top. All I could think to myself was, ‘TJ, you poor son of a bitch. You’re done for.”

    Trapped by an adolescent but all empowering urge, TJ was indeed done for. Lacking the willpower to look away, TJ was stuck. Fixated on the exposed breasts. In nothing but his swimsuit.

    Meanwhile, TJ’s father wasn’t the only one that had noticed something amiss. Alice Peterson was coming back from the snack stand when she saw TJ huddled under the umbrella. “My poor little kiddo,” said his mother, “It’s just such a tough age to be at. And those breasts. I mean, what’s he supposed to do?”

    Local beach regular, Pete Martinez also happened to be nearby at the time, “Yeah, I’ve seen a lot of topless women on this beach, and I’ve seen just as many teenage boys get trapped in that death stare. You see, breasts are like a couple of cobras. They’ll hypnotize you if you don’t know how to handle yourself. And I’ll be damned if that boy knew how to handle himself. Hell, I still have trouble with it myself at times.”

    Just as TJ thought all was lost, hope sprang anew and fun plans for the day were already running through his head. Maybe he’d go for a swim, then get some ice cream, then maybe he’d even be able to get that sand castle built after all. Sensing that this nightmare was finally coming to an end, TJ breathed a sigh of relief.

    But it all came crashing down again as she reached for sunscreen, begging her nearby friend to sensually rub it on her back.

     

     

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