“The only thing prohibiting transit through the Straits right now is Iran shooting at shipping,” Hegseth declared. “It is open for transit, should Iran not do that.” – 3/13/26, C-SPAN
“The only thing prohibiting freedom and democracy in Europe right now is Hitler relentlessly invading it,” Chamberlain declared. “It is open for business, should Hitler not do that.”
“The only thing prohibiting a great day at the zoo right now is the pack of spotted hyenas roaming freely around, devouring people” my neighbor Phil declared. “It is open for family fun, should the hyenas not do that.”
“The only thing prohibiting my olympic powerlifting medal right now is my puny stature and twig arms,” Gandhi declared. “My gold is waiting for me on the pedestal, should chiseled, enormous muscles start erupting from my torso.”
“The only thing prohibiting a terrific dining experience at that restaurant right now is the fact that it is currently engulfed in flames,” my neighbor Phil declared. “It is open for a reasonably-priced 3-course Mediterranean dinner, should the flames stop spreading.”
“The only thing prohibiting my timely escape right now is the mob of vengeful Italians surrounding me,” Mussollini declared. “I will get away scot-free, should they opt not to execute me and then hang my lifeless corpse upside down at a gas station in Milan.”
“The only thing prohibiting my NBA career right now is my roughly 5’4” height and utter lack of skill,” my neighbor Phil declared. “My championship career is ready to launch, should a midlife growth spurt and years of training spontaneously occur.”
“The only thing prohibiting field trips at the museum right now is the phalanx of giant, glowing cephalopods harvesting humanity for their entrails,” my neighbor Phil declared. “It is open for a truly educational experience, should our alien overlords not do that.”
“The only thing prohibiting me from respecting Rocky Balboa is fool pitying,” Clubber Lang declared. “It is entirely feasible that I would respect him, should I no longer pity fools.”
“The only thing prohibiting our victory at Little Bighorn is the jaw-droppingly huge coalition of Sioux, Cheyenne, and Arapaho warriors ready to kill us,” Custer declared. “It is within our reach, should they decide not to do that.”
“The only thing prohibiting my career as an adult film star right now is my micropenis,” my neighbor Phil declared. “My legendary reign is ready to launch, should said micropenis grow into an awe-inspiring schlong.”