After widespread panic from nearly all their agents, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement has released a statement in an attempt to make it clear that their agents wearing masks is actually cool and it still isn’t cool if you do it for any health related fears.
Their statement clarifies that “agents are NOT wearing masks due to COVID and are solely wearing them to avoid public recognition and repercussion as they conduct their illegal and immoral daily activities. The last thing we would want is for any of our family or peers to think we’re scared of some fake liberal disease. Well, the second last thing I guess. I guess the last thing would be for any of those people to see what we’re actually doing every day at our job. But after that the second is for sure the COVID thing.”
The group is supposedly considering switching to balaclavas so that their faces can remain covered but not their mouths, or simply requiring that all agents pull the masks down below their noses.
