I was in first class and flying high,
When your gorgeous ice first caught my eye.
“Who’s that?”,
I asked.
“Greenland”,
the reply.
How in heaven had you passed me by?
Pardon me,
I don’t mean to be crass,
Dare I admire,
your big landmass.
Thou hast those ravishing Northern Lights,
Far more enchanting than women’s rights.
Denmark is a path to misery,
Wherefore not with The Land of The Free.
Quality of life – who needs first place?
Have you and Denmark got to first base?
Free healthcare,
better welfare,
less crime,
Who cares when I will love you longtime?
We will offer you security,
Though, “Hi, I’m the intruder, it’s me.”
“They’re the happiest country”- big deal!
Look, we invented the Happy MealÒ
Won’t use force,
if you come willingly.
Promise I’ll treat you respectfully.
(By the way, did you know I wrote Hillbilly Elegy?)
Perhaps you are betwixt and betwined,
E’er it’s possible to change thy mind.
I used to be a “Never Trump Guy”,
“America’s Hitler”, I did imply.
“God, what an idiot!”, I tweeted,
A forsaken thought, since deleted.
Donald J. Trump hath many a vice,
Now one is me,
which is MAGA nice.
Yea, I called Trump reprehensible,
But now I am –
Far.
More.
Sensible.
To win your hand,
I had to visit
Quite unwanted – nay – quite illicit.
Our first encounter – my time to shine!
“It’s cold as shit here”, was my first line.
Heart on my sleeve,
But not in my suit,
Better a parka for my pursuit.
True, I did travel there with my wife.
Second lady,
not love of my life.
I’ll be your Jack, you can be my Rose,
Would you share the door if I propose?
The heart of the ocean,
well that’s you,
Many lies I’ve told,
but this is true.
From the Rust Belt,
my plea is heart felt,
I will make your heart and your ice melt.
You may say that you are not for sale,
Behold!
I graduated from
Yale.
Greenland,
I will love you intensely.
Would never treat you like Zelenskyy.
(Although, I think we all agree that was on him for pursuing his “point” so relentlesslyy).
Hey girl, why not take a chance,
This is not a bad romance,
Say my name, it’s JD Vance.