2008 was a glorious time. Lady Gaga was just some nuisance blocking traffic in an IKEA parking lot, traumatizing families with a performance of her new erotic single, “Poker Face.” In full Gaga glam (wig, makeup, AND costume), Stefani Germanotta transformed into a star for four minutes to sell a few CDs. A few CDs turned into a few iTunes purchases which quickly turned into a Billboard #1 hit. 2008 was a glorious time when pop stars had to work to become famous.
Cut to 2023. The people topping the charts often haven’t left their houses in a month and use Instagram to promote their new music instead of a show-stopping performance causing a month of parental debate asking if it was “too inappropriate.”
Here is my dilemma: How do I, a 2003 baby, born too late to remember the glory days of pop music, reconcile with the utter mediocrity forced upon me? We occupy a dystopia where the climate is deteriorating, our politicians are ancient, and the pop stars we made famous can’t seem to make themselves remotely interesting.
The lyrics to the newest Katy Perry song used to play on repeat in all our minds until memory cells suffocated themselves using the very plastic bags Katy sang about so often. I’m now forced to hear about Elon Musk and his newest plan to send monkeys to space or my friends’ plans for the weekend or god forbid, talk of politics. Taylor Swift and her ex-boyfriends used to be our politics. In 2012, Mitt Romney received fewer votes than Jake Gyllenhaal got on the ‘Swift’s Worst Ex’ poll.
Stars who used to rule award shows no longer attend and the new generation of artists believe that wearing a gown is appropriate. This is the VMAs, not the Oscars, act like it; ditch the gown and don the meat dress. Fear of the “Worst Dressed List” zombified everyone into conformity and it ruined everything. I wonder when the next time my jaw will drop for a red carpet look. I grimace, pondering when the next red carpet worth even watching will occur.
The state of pop music is DIRE. Our current “princes of pop” are Justin Bieber and Shawn Mendes; one cannot change out of sweatpants to save his life and the other couldn’t learn a two-step if it stomped on him. And I understand that not everyone can be Beyoncé, I just wish we considered the retail workers and their struggle in all this. They’re already forced to listen to one radio rotation for their whole shift, the least we could do is make talented musicians popular and allow the workers to focus on the dressing room, rather than their bleeding ears. As a tired, worn out, desperate Gen Zer (not to mention a retail worker) I beg of my generation, let’s find some real stars. If it takes Illuminati allegations, a performer boot camp, or even an intro to fashion course at FIT,
WE MUST ACT NOW!