Welcome to The Donald J. Trump Presidential Library and Dinner Theater, the jewel of Branson, MO. This is the only place in the world where visitors are immersed in the world of the MAGA Master himself. We offer a comprehensive look into the greatest presidency in the first two hundred and fifty years of the country’s history (and likely the next two hundred and fifty), as well as a fun, family-friendly show that will have you dancing in the aisle. Our blend of alternative fact-based revisionism, gold brocade drapery, and good old down-home hospitality creates the experience of a lifetime for any MAGAmaniac! “Why Branson?”, you may ask. Because you wouldn’t like Mar a Lago. It’s full of rich people and fancy food. You’re going to be more comfortable and welcome here.
𝙇𝙞𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙈𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙪𝙢 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙨:
— Law Library – Search through hundreds of files from the dozens of cases involving the nation’s 45th president and his lifetime of litigation. See the charges, pleas, verdicts, and settlements involving fraud, bankruptcy, defamation, racial discrimination, and much, much more.
— Wall of tweets – All 57,561 nuggets of wisdom covering important topics like Meryl Streep, Lying Ted, and “covfefe”.
— Nuclear Codes – Kids will love learning about nuclear weapons and how they work the same way President Trump did – through pictures. And each child goes home with an active Top Secret nuclear code just like President Trump did.
— Hall of Presidential Portraits – See the collection of forty-five portraits of the 45th president
𝘿𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙬:
— Dinner includes your choice of Salisbury Steak or breaded chicken patty, with premium tater tots and a Parker House roll. Ice cold Royal Crown Cola or Cherry Kool-aid (1 Free Refill).
— We open with a recitation of The Pledge of Allegiance led by the students of The John Birch Child Development Center.
— The program begins with your emcee for the evening, Rudy Giuliani, doing a dramatic reenactment of his historic press conference at the Four Seasons Nursery and Landscaping Company, located next to the adult bookstore. His moving plea for the elusive fair election incites patriotism as only Rudy can.
— Next, match wits with “The Trivial Titans”, Donald Jr, and brother Eric in a fast-paced quiz that will put your knowledge of spelling, arithmetic, and the sounds that farm animals make to the supreme test.
— Listen closely as the former First Lady breaks the English language like only Melania can define her “Be Best” initiative. See Baron, once referred to by his father as the son “she has”, while he stands behind her and silently wishes he were anywhere else. Watch as daughter Tiffany (“the other one”) avoids the mess entirely.
— Clap your hands and stomp your feet to the dirt-kickin”’ sound of The MAGAtts, Missouri’s most popular Hank Williams Jr tribute band for two nonconsecutive years. The Monday Night Football theme song never sounded so good.
— Ivanka smiles and waves.
— Next, the man himself holds court. Experience the stream-of-consciousness trip that takes you from a county clerk’s office in Atlanta, through a round of golf in Florida, then leaves you on the side of the road in God only knows where. Hear all the hits like “Fake News”, ‘Many People Say”, “Obamagate”, “I Alone”, “Build That Wall”, “Lock Her Up”, and of course “Witch Hunt” by the man that made them famous.
— Lastly, a full-cast rendition of “YMCA” to send you home with a song in your heart.
Don’t forget to stop by the grift shop and “gear up” with hats, shirts, flags, and more, all finely crafted by the small, youthful hands of the Far East.
