If you’re a middle-aged male living in the United States, recent studies have shown that there’s a 40% chance you’ve already experienced erectile dysfunction, and nothing, absolutely NOTHING, is more humiliating or degrading than not having agency over your own body, especially when it comes to your personal freedom of sexual expression.
While we acknowledge that women’s healthcare may be somewhat important these days, we feel it has dominated the national discussion for far too long as the ethics of having an abortion and debate about easy access to birth control have completely overshadowed men’s biological needs. It’s time we start talking about guy’s reproductive freedoms and how ED is one of the greatest threats facing most American males today.
So, in the name of gender equality, we at Hims are making men’s healthcare our top priority. In fact, our entire business model is centered around enhancing the male sexual experience, and our mission to restore the lives of ten of thousands of suffering men across the country who have been disproportionately and unfairly affected by this tragic condition is a cause that is near and dear to our hearts.
If you have experienced or believe you’re at risk of experiencing ED, don’t be down – we can help! Simply visit our website at forhims.com where the cure to your trouser troubles is just a few clicks away! After browsing our extensive list of products, select the items that most appeal to you, enter your credit card information, your shipping address, and you’ll be on your way to quickly and discreetly regaining your bedroom confidence, no questions asked!
That’s right! No more looking over your shoulder in the supermarket to see who’s monitoring your purchases. No more judgmental looks from the nosy employee ringing up your personal care items at the checkout. No more uncomfortable calls with your physician whose earliest appointment is months away. No more parental consent forms or heartbeat bill protocols. No more frantic emails to your doctor’s office pleading for one last prescription refill. No more hassles from the billing department of your insurance provider or what is and isn’t covered. No more creepy CVS parking lots or weird pharmacy lines. No more walking past armed guards or tolerating discriminatory signs wielded by unhinged anti-wellness protesters outside of your local health clinic that somehow still took you three-and-a-half hours to drive to. No more concerns about conservative policies negatively influencing state regulations on how you manage your well-being. And no more government overreach dictating what you can and can’t do with your body. Because at Hims, as long as you can pay, you’re free to play!
So what are you waiting for?!
We offer an extensive line of products for a wide range of issues, including men’s hair consultations, rough skin consultations, mental health assessments, psychiatry and online therapy, anonymous support groups, wellness supplements and much more! No matter how severe your ED is, we guarantee that our treatments will get you up and running within a week, and if not, we’ll refund your initial purchase and offer you a free 30-minute consultation with one of our strategists to find another solution, because that’s how devoted we are to men’s reproductive rights.
In addition to being your secret one-stop shop for effective, accessible, and discreet ED treatment delivered right to your door, we pride ourselves on affordability. No matter what your budget is, we surely have a solution that’s right for you. In fact, since we are already FDA-approved, we are currently working on a bill before Congress that would allocate a substantial portion of public funding to subsidizing select treatments for low-income individuals. Living with ED is already a hardship no man should have to endure, and the last thing we want is for your financial situation to be a barrier to accessing top-of-the-line healthcare and quality-of-life-saving medication.
So get that erection in the right direction and visit our site today!
*Disclaimer: Hims accepts NO responsibility or liability for consequences resulting from the use of our products, including but not limited to erections lasting more than three hours, sexual frustration, sexual discrimination, sexual harassment, sexual assault, rape, intended or unintended pregnancies, or bounties against those who pursue illegal abortions.
