First and foremost, let me apologize for the plethora of mutilated pitbulls and miniature corgis and their families. It’s downright awful that these helpless puppies were underfed, malnourished, and abused from birth up until the day they were sent into a 6’x6′ ring to fight to the death. It’s a total travesty and completely un-American way to treat dogs.
For the life of me, I could not have imagined something so horrific happening right here, in the basement of my house, where I always schedule and host these barbaric fights.
I’m just as disgusted as you guys. The carnage, the smell of canine entrails, the dogs still panting out their last breaths not even knowing why they died, and the blood all over the walls. But to be fair, there’s a decent amount of blood on my framed diploma from Harvard Law School, and honestly, that feels sort of like an attack on me.
If we want to unite and rectify this situation, we need to put aside our differences. We can’t keep debating whether or not dogfighting rings are “wrong” or “right” or “an act of sedition.” We need to come together. We need to start coming to terms with the fact that just because I helped get this grizzly underworld started, I am also currently being very public in my denunciation of it, via the safe haven of Twitter.
As a long time champion dogfighter, who has pitted countless numbers of angry, sickly creatures against their completely fabricated enemies, I’d like to come out now and speak out very strongly against dogfighting. However, I’d also like to come out even stronger against any sort of blame that I should shoulder for this gruesome practice, which again, I had a very proactive hand in organizing.
I do feel sort of bad for what I’ve done, but mostly because I got caught. For the first time in my life, I feel low. Really low. Lower than the day the president called my dad an assassin and my wife ugly. It’s almost as if I’ve done something wrong.
Almost.
But for God’s sake, guys, I’m not Michael Vick because, if you remember, Michael Vick apologized.
