Close Menu
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Robot Butt
    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      NEW REALITY TV SHOWS FOR DONALD TRUMP

      September 17, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Planet Of The Vampires (1965)

      September 15, 2026

      TOP-GROSSING ROCK REUNION TOURS THIS SUMMER

      August 24, 2026

      20 Genre-Bending College Rock Bands To Try Out After They Exist

      July 26, 2026

      FUN & HARMLESS WAYS TO MOTIVATE YOUR BLUES MUSICIAN BFF

      May 12, 2026

      EVERY LEGAL CHARGE BY HIS MAJESTY’S GOVERNMENT AGAINST “THE ANDREW FORMERLY KNOWN AS PRINCE”

      May 4, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      NEW REALITY TV SHOWS FOR DONALD TRUMP

      September 17, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Planet Of The Vampires (1965)

      September 15, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      A Cartoon About A Prawn

      June 13, 2026

      Two Cartoons About Apples

      June 11, 2026

      A Cartoon About Pocket Notebooks

      May 31, 2026

      Steel Toe Tommy

      September 21, 2026

      Nursery Rhymes – Ancient Wisdom Or Nefarious Lies?

      September 8, 2026

      PAPPY’S ICED TEA

      June 21, 2026

      This End Up

      June 7, 2026
    • History

      An Oral History Of The Heimlich Maneuver

      September 18, 2026

      Nursery Rhymes – Ancient Wisdom Or Nefarious Lies?

      September 8, 2026

      Alexander The Great Solves The Gordian Knot

      August 3, 2026

      Clarifications From Count Dracula

      August 2, 2026

      America’s 250th Anniversary – State Motto Update

      July 27, 2026
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      Modern Hail Sizes for a Golf Ball Illiterate Nation

      October 11, 2026

      SpaceX to Launch One Trillion Dollars to the Sun

      September 12, 2026

      Sociologist Who Lost 23 Pairs of Glasses Finally Cracks Mosh Pit Code

      September 11, 2026

      2026 Virtual National Labor Day Picnic Celebration: AI Agents And Assistants Only; Humans Not Invited

      September 7, 2026

      I Have Become A Haiku Master

      July 5, 2026

      Local Airline Pilot Takes Train To Work

      April 2, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      Do’s and Don’ts for Your First Camping Trip 

      September 22, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      PLEASE STOP BETTING ON MY IMPROV SHOWS ON KALSHI!

      August 11, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Mr. Go (2013)

      August 4, 2026

      “Best in Show” Extreme Breed Makeover

      July 20, 2026

      DAT ASS Is Going To Revolutionize—And Democratize—Professional Sports As We Know It

      July 11, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      Beyond Gulf and Lake of America, Hey! Plans To Name And Rename Bodies Of Water

      September 9, 2026

      Next Minions Movie Announced: Minions & Speech Therapists 

      September 2, 2026

      Iran Gains Control Of Reflecting Pool

      August 31, 2026

      Mindfulness App Achieves Sentience: Immediately Develops Anxiety

      August 23, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Here’s a Client Testimonial About Our Realtor, Walt

      October 14, 2026

      Robot Butt is Selling a House!

      October 13, 2026

      We, the Interns at the Robot Butt, Make the Following Demands

      September 23, 2026

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Here’s a Client Testimonial About Our Realtor, Walt

      October 14, 2026

      Robot Butt is Selling a House!

      October 13, 2026

      We, the Interns at the Robot Butt, Make the Following Demands

      September 23, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Real Estate Listing for a Haunted House

      October 16, 2026

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Home»All Content»The Hub»Articles»Politics»I Am Not Racist But Please Don’t Read Any of My Tweets Before 2013
    Politics

    I Am Not Racist But Please Don’t Read Any of My Tweets Before 2013

    Justin CannonBy Justin CannonJuly 11, 2020No Comments3 Mins Read
    Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email
    Man Praying at Desk

    Dear colleagues, 

    There are rumors circulating on the internet that I have made racially insensitive and inappropriate remarks in the past. 

    As your boss, I wanted to take a moment to address this with you all head on.

    I’m not racist and we can leave it at that. No need to dig around the internet in search of incriminating information. There’s no need to go to Twitter, no need to type my username into the search bar, and there’s definitely no need to read anything posted before 2013. 

    Sure, those tweets might seem inappropriate but that’s because they’re being taken out of context. Did I tweet a racial slur? Technically, yes. But I was tweeting lyrics from “I’m So Paid” by Akon. Do you mean to tell me that loving R&B is suddenly racist? 

    You all know me. I am a dedicated husband and loving father. I have black friends – many of them. Mexican and Asian ones, too. I volunteered in an underserved community one time and I was barely afraid to park my Mercedes on the street. 

    While we’re on the topic of social media, please also disregard my Instagram and Tumblr accounts from several years ago. There’s a perfectly good explanation for any and all photos of me portraying Puerto Rican and other racial stereotypes. It was most likely Halloween and I probably needed a last-minute costume. We’ve all been there. What was I supposed to do – dress up as Jake from State Farm two years in a row? No way, Jose. 

    Shoot… is that expression considered racist these days? I can’t keep up. 

    It’s also important to note that I never wore makeup or facial coloring of any kind. At least I’m pretty sure I didn’t. Regardless, if you were there you would have been able to see just how hard that costume killed it. Everyone found it funny – even the one Puerto Rican dude at the party. 

    But all of that is irrelevant, anyway. As we’ve discussed, there’s no need to do a deep dive into my social media accounts because, as previously stated, I am not a racist.

    In fact, to prove how not racist I am in a totally not overcompensating kind of way, I will be posting many #blacklivesmatter think pieces and donation receipts to my Instagram. It won’t be easy, but it’s the work that must be done. And if I happen to lose a few followers as a result, I’m prepared to live with that. 

    Finally, as part of my commitment to making you believe once and for all that I am not a racist, I will be increasing the number of BIPOC we employ here. From two to four. That’s a 100% increase, people. Those numbers feel lofty, but I’m confident we’ll be able to meet and maybe even surpass them at some vague point in the future if we remain steadfast in our commitment.

    We can fix racism if we work together. But the time for talk is over and the time for action is now. 

    To quote the late Dr. Martin Luther King: “I have a dream.” 

    Warmest regards, 

    Your Non-Racist Boss, Mentor, and Ally

    Justin Cannon
    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Justin Cannon

    Justin Cannon is a NYC-based advertising copywriter. He's an avid reader, runner and finger nail-biter.

    Related Posts

    AUTOMATIC REPLY: Re: Re: Re: URGENT — Melania Where Are You

    September 28, 2026

    Mankind Calls Upon Me, a Twelve-year-old, to Lead the Musk Empire

    September 17, 2026

    NEW REALITY TV SHOWS FOR DONALD TRUMP

    September 17, 2026

    Comments are closed.

    Search Robot Butt
    Read More Robot Butt

    The 50 Best Movies of the 1990s

    NASA History: What Were the Objectives of Every Apollo Mission?

    These Are the Weirdest Promotions in Major League Baseball History

    The Robot Butt Podcasts
    Robot Butt Podcasts

    Check out the Robot Butt Podcasts and then give a listen to our friends below:

    ROGUE SQUADRON PODCAST

    Star Wars, beer, music, video games and more!
    The Robot Butt Videos
    Robot Butt Videos

    Unrelenting comedy in video form!
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram Pinterest
    © 2026 ThemeSphere. Designed by ThemeSphere.

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.