7 Sexy Ways to Spice Up Your Writing Process

So you’ve been writing for a while now and you’re starting to get bored. You’re starting to look too long at that especially long tuba your friend Janice plays… stop that! Don’t worry, with these seven fun and delicious tips, you’ll soon re-lighting the fire of your relationship to the written word!

1. Do It Somewhere New

Do you write at a home office or in a basic bitch library? Boring! In order to keep the spark alive, try writing somewhere new, like a restroom in a bar, an alleyway or a local park at midnight. If there’s some kind of risk involved, it will help the blood flow and create a sense of danger that will keep you hooked.

2. Try a New Position

Do you usually write sitting down? This is so very basic; no wonder you’re getting bored. Try writing lying on your bed in your underwear or during a tap-dancing class. Writing in a new position will wildly change the type of things you write about and how sore your body gets.

3. Try It in the Shower

Take your laptop or notebook in the shower and fully connect to your body and the water as you write. Don’t be alarmed if your laptop breaks or your notebook gets soggy – it’s all part of the process.

4. Handcuffs

Kink is a great way to awaken your prose. Handcuff yourself to your laptop and try to write for as long as you can. Just make sure to give your roommate Sasha your key so you aren’t stranded there forever.

5. Add Someone Else Into Your Process

Have you ever written with someone else? Just think how spicy things will get adding someone else’s voice into the fold. Imagine the beauty of Darren’s sexy, lyrical prose about being a white man combined with your stories about getting dumped at prom! If that goes well, maybe you could even add a third?

6. Play With Dessert

Smear your keyboard with whipped cream and lick it off as you type! Feed your laptop bananas slowly because that is a phallic-shaped fruit! As a writer, it’s important to be playful while also sensuous, and this will give you both.