Another Thanksgiving has come and gone, and now that the last bite of green bean casserole has been choked down and your uncle has wrapped up his defense of Roy Moore, it’s off to the nearest shopping center for an even more deeply-rooted American tradition: Black Friday. However, one department store giant is taking a somewhat unusual approach. This year, Walmart will only give you their Black Friday discounts if you can answer their riddles three.
The following set of riddles were posted to their website this morning:
1. If you want our discount on a Samsung Smart TV, tell us how to give our workers a sustainable salary
2. If you find the new iPhone X enticing, you’ll have to solve our problem of predatory pricing
3. If what you want is an HP Touch laptop, explain how we can stop using suppliers that are sweatshops
Once you enter your guesses into their site, you are granted access to Walmart’s latest list of holiday savings.
This unconventional move has a lot of people talking. When pressed for a comment about it, Walmart CEO Doug McMillon just burped, dropped three rolls of quarters out of his pocket, and sped off on a hoverboard.
“I don’t know, they seem more like rhyming questions than riddles to me,” said Walmart shopper Kevin Caleb. “But who cares as long as I get those deals. I’ll fuckin’ body someone if I have to, I’m getting a Nintendo Switch this year.”
In response, Best Buy announced they will be giving away free pairs of Skullcandy earbuds to every customer that can give them $24.99.
With these innovative retail methods and a previous death count that will surely rise, Black Friday 2017 will certainly be one to be remembered.
