Doctor Delphin, it’s been some time.
Never mind how I got into your lab. Let’s just say the security here has its blind spots.
Who am I? But doctor, we’ve met before. Last week, when you tested that godforsaken machine of yours. You still don’t recognize me? Maybe it’s because of this large overcoat, these mittens, or the giant scarf wrapped around my face up to my oversized sunglasses. Let’s see if you recognize me once I take them off…
Yes! I have disappeared! Look at what you’ve done to me doctor! Oh, wait, you can’t, because of your “marvelous” invention. Your damn machine! It turned me invis-
You can see what? Oh my… you can see my lunch. That’s pretty weird, huh? I guess it hasn’t had time to digest. Kind of embarrassing honestly. Well, as I was saying, I’m here for one reason, doctor. Reveng-
We’re still on this? Okay, fine, just ask.
No, I don’t want to finish the threat now. You already interrupted, so ask whatever you were going to ask, since it is clearly so important.
Wow… well, if you must know, yes, I did have hot dogs for lunch. Now, if you are finished, I will claim my sweet vicious rev-
Oh, come on!
I mean, I guess that is a lot of dogs, but I was extremely hungry.
No, I absolutely do not agree that “from where you’re standing it looks like an unhealthy amount of hot dogs.” Actually, I had some dogs last night, too. Oh, and lunch before that.
Total? I don’t know, maybe fourteen franks.
YES, the hot dogs are fully intact, so what?
Oh my god, no, I didn’t take any bites. I’m not about to disrespect the dog with my teeth, get over it.
I dip them into a little tap water, then slide them straight down my guzzle. Why are you acting so weird? It literally couldn’t be any less confusing.
Oh really? Disgusting? Hmmm, that’s weird, because Joey Chestnut, reigning world hot dog-eating champion, says it’s efficient.
You know what, forget this. I came here to kill you for removing both my spectral visibility and my chance of ever having a normal life again, but you won’t stop looking at my dogs! This is inconsiderate, and honestly completely unprofessional for someone in your field. So, I’m going to go, and I’ll be back once these boys pass in thirty to forty hours.
Oh, and don’t bother hitting the alarm. Your gross little pigs will never find me. They’d have to be able to see things that just aren’t there…
Yes, or be able to see a big floating pile of hot dogs. That’s also an option.