LOS ANGELES – It’s taken twenty long years of method acting, but Jared Leto is finally ready to play a raging narcissist in his next film.
The actor/musician will star in the role of a lifetime, as he is set to play an arrogant actor and musician who gets away with everything under the guise of being quirky. Though the role was hotly contested by fellow egomaniacs Shia LaBeouf and James Franco, it was Leto’s unwavering and insufferable commitment to his role as the Joker that finally put him over the edge.
“After seeing what he did to the rest of the cast of Suicide Squad, I knew I had to cast him,” said director Quentin Tarantino. “Sending them used condoms, dead mice, anal beads – it’s deplorable! Just what I was looking for.”
Leto has reportedly already begun working on his Oscar speech, despite not having filmed a single second of the movie, and telling anyone who will listen how confident he is about winning.
“I’ve played transgender better than any real transgender person could ever dream,” Leto said. “And I topped Heath Ledger’s Joker by actually losing my mind in the role. I’m the king of method and made for this.”
As expected, Leto will also do the soundtrack to the movie with his band Thirty Seconds To Mars. Has has also given the script a complete rewrite in order to add his personal touch to the movie, citing the need for realistic dialogue such as “I’m not insane, I’m voluntarily indifferent to conventional rationality.”
There are reports that the film will feature Leto talking to himself in a mirror for 230 minutes, whilst periodically posting selfies to Instagram with pseudo-intellectual quotes that were definitely not copied from elsewhere.