I’m so sorry, Ruth Bader Guitarsberg! That’s what I named you the moment your Amazon box arrived. Like RGB, you gave me hope. Showed me not who I was: a guy who can eat an entire tub of Sabra hummus while watching an episode of Killing Eve. But who I could be: a guy who can eat a tub of hummus and also play the score to Killing Eve on my very own hollow-bodied Gibson Les Paul. I know you’re much, much better than what’s become of you: a dust collector next to my orange tabby Malfoy’s cat tower. I…
Author: Valerie Nies and Chris Brotzman
Valerie Nies and Chris Brotzman
Chris Brotzman is an advertising and humor writer living in Chicago. Valerie Nies is a gluten enthusiast, comedy writer, and poet living in Austin, Texas; read more of her work @valerieknees.