President Trump boasts about mastering “The Art of the Deal.” Alternative Progressive characterizations of Trump dealings Dems fear he uses to deal away democracy: The Art of the Unreal: Jettisoning truth for unreal, selfish assumptions only Qatar might understand The Art of the Surreal: Must-see TV: imagined Moonman negotiation about proposed lunar nuclear reactor The Art of the Spiel: Incessantly repeating name-shaming labels makes them believable The Art of the Eel: Elusive and devious, make yourself as slippery as an eel in negotiations and beyond The Art of the Steal: “What’s yours is mine; what’s mine is mine”: negotiation stance…
Author: Ken Hogarty
Ken Hogarty
Dr. Ken Hogarty, who lives in SF’s East Bay with his wife Sally, retired after a 46-year career as a high school teacher and principal. Since, he has had stories, essays, memoirs, and comedy pieces published in Underwood, Sport Literate, Under Review, Sequoia Speaks, Woman’s Way, Purpled Nails, the S.F. Chronicle, McQueen’s, Points in Case, Glossy News, The Satirist, and Good Old Days. His novel, Recruiting Blue Chip Prospects recently launched to good reviews. You can preview the novel or check out other works at Kenhogarty.net.
Baseball scouts rate prospects using a 20-80 scale (50 average) with each 10-point increment representing a standard deviation.Below, find DraftQueens’ Fantasy Top Ten Heartthrob Prospects, their Pitching Woo Ratings, and a Capsule Review: A) High Hard Stuff; B) Good Movement C) Change of Pace; D) Durability; E) Intangibles 1) Lancelot du Lac – A) 75; B) 75; C) 65; D) 70; E) 75) This pitcher of woo features pure stuff that he protects like a guarded Queen. He’s capable of bringing down dynasties and sweeping away formidable foes. Projections say he could stake a claim as a gifted closer, saving games…
Our revered POTUS trumpets, “I want a baby boom.” Relax, Melania, already father of all real Americans, he was talking about the U.S.A. as a country. Friend of Trump and Pronatalist activist Simone Collins and her husband proposed this past week that a National Medal of Motherhood Medals be initiated for married mothers who bear six children. I’m excited and working hard to get my corresponding MOFO Medal. This ancillary men’s award some males in the President’s Circle floated would complement my MAGA hat. It could replace the Congressional Medal of Freedom Medal, deemed moot. An important caveat demands that…
Remarks Expected during Revelries Wound Tighter than a Pre-Roll
MORE GRIM TODAY THAN DIRE GERMANIC ORIGINALS TRUMPLESTILSKIN: Desperate to win favor, a sycophant convinces the King that his daughter can spin untruth into truth. With her life at stake, Lady Liberty gets offered a deal by a roguish gnome, expert at spinning untruth. The damsel promises him her first born for his help but reneges after the King marries her and she gives birth. She learns the only way to avoid that fate is to guess his name. A conservative courtier, who appreciates democracy more than culture wars, tells her his name’s Trumplestilskin. In a typical rage, Trumplestilskin tears…
Big League batters, even White Sox hitters, universally clamor for parity with the Bronx Bombers. Yankee Torpedo Bats, shaped like bowling pins, feature expanded sweet spots. Brainiacs have other novel bats in the works for situational hitting, a few of which might make you go batty: Nellie Fox Bottle Bat – Souping up old model George Brett Pine Tar Bat – Stickum part of wood grain Louisville Mugger – Useful against fielders when circling bases Wonderboy Bat – Naturally, for destroying scoreboards ICBM Bat — More explosive than a Torpedo Tennis Bat – For making contact Oar Bat – Also…
Blue State College Team Names — Changed to Shame The once and current President has villainized opponents by creating and repeating biting nicknames. Rocket Man, Crooked Hillary, Little Marco, Lyin’ Ted, Sleepy Joe Biden, Comrade Kamala, Governor Newscum, Crazy Nancy, Horseface, and Fake Tapper provide a sampling of his invectives. He clearly believes naming someone or something allows him to take power over them. In choosing former pro-wrestling executive Linda McMahon as his choice as Secretary of the Department of Education, Trump clearly picked a kindred spirit since staged wrestling thrives on villainous character nicknames. Stone Cold Steve Austin (Linda’s…
Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred announced today that this July’s All-Star Baseball Game will pit the Los Angeles Dodgers against the 29ers, an all-star team representing the 29 lesser major league teams. After a flurry of Dodger signings, re-signings, and acquisitions following last year’s World’s Series victory, bookmakers predict the L.A. team will win north of 100 games. Further, odds suggest they’re two-and-a-half times more likely than any other team to emerge victorious in the 2025 World Serious. Pundits claim SoCal’s New World Order potentially has collected the best pitching rotation in baseball history with their three Japanese starters…
Texas Attorney General: Since your state seems to enjoy executions (586 from 1977-2023, with Oklahoma a poor second with 123), please execute corporations listed below for crimes against humanity. Doing so affirms that you’re finally taking seriously 2010’s landmark Supreme Court “Citizens United” ruling granting corporations rights previously afforded individuals. American ideals hold that with rights come responsibilities and consequences. Below, please find individually appropriate ways to carry out death sentences from the countless execution methods humanity has employed historically. For objectivity, see also rebuttals said corporations might defensively offer. Death Row: Exxon Mobile – [BOILING TO DEATH] – Surprised…
Was Gonzo New Journalist Hunter S. Thompson, himself an expert on weird, today’s Nostradamus? Did his prophetic quotes foretell the fear and loathing that marks the Age of Trump? When the going gets tough, the weird turn pro. —– Wouldn’t Weirdo #1, maybe in drag with J.D. Vance and RFK, Jr., be perfect as the Weird Sisters in a professional performance of “MacBeth,” another power-mad conniver? We are living in dangerously weird times now. Smart people just shrug and admit they’re dazed and confused. The only ones left with any confidence at all are the New Dumb. —– Thompson hated Bush II…