Dear Valued Lifetime Alumni Association Member, We just want to take a moment and thank you again for your monetary support by way of your Lifetime Alumni Membership. We would never take for granted that monetary gift, which is why we’ve sent you daily mailers, called your cell number every hour for a month, and spammed your parents’ home phone incessantly to let you know about this new exclusive invitation. For a mere $600, you can upgrade your pitiful Lifetime Alumni Membership to a Super Double Diamond Lifetime Deluxe Membership. That’s right, while new members would have to pay a…
Author: Brandon Talley
Brandon Talley
Brandon J. Talley is a writer based in Los Angeles. His work has been published in Points in Case and Slackjaw. However, Scholastic still refuses to publish his novelization of 'Full House' episode 307, stating that the show never involved flashbacks to Danny Tanner murdering his wife and that it has no place in a children’s story. It’s called subtext.