It’s a little known fact that David Lynch was intended to be the director of Return of the Jedi, a missed connection that would have awarded the famed surrealist permanent lodging in the House of Mouse. With a tidal wave of reboots on Disney’s cinematic roster, there’s still ample opportunity to make things right. Below are some possible Lynchian treatments to popular Disney stories. Beauty and the Beast Laura Dern is a successful executive for a music label. She has vivid daydreams in which she is Marilyn Monroe, singing before an invisible but adoring audience in an upscale lounge. Instead of…
Author: Brandon Dockery
Brandon Dockery
Brandon is a software developer and aspiring humorist who got his start dissecting clowns. He lives in a box made of wood and vinyl with his dog, who is supportive but cannot give actionable feedback. His writing has appeared in such outlets as Slackjaw, The Haven and his parents' refrigerator. You can tap directly into his rambling thoughts on Twitter @occultagile.