In the last week, local restaurant owner Joey Anthill has been called a number of things, including “thief,” “mistreated small business owner,” and even “not worthy of this news cycle.” Well, after some coercing and a half dozen to-go orders of ravioli, we convinced the man that is in the middle of a heated lawsuit with Italian pasta giant Olive Garden to sit down and tell us his side.
WB: First, I just want to say thank you for sitting down and doing this. You’ve been in the media a lot lately, it must be nice to have an opportunity to put all of this to rest once and for all.
JA: Yeah, it is! See, I’m on the internet. I think a lot of these goons just assume I’m not online, but that ain’t it, chief. I’m very online. I’ve seen what they’re saying about me and the restaurant. Saying I’m some kind of pasta robber and that my restaurant is stolen. Ridiculous.
WB: I’m glad you mentioned the restaurant. That’s mainly what I want to talk about. You’re the owner and operator of a local Italian restaurant right here in the city. Could you tell me the name of that restaurant and how you landed on it?
JA: I don’t believe for a damn second you don’t actually know the name, but sure, I’ll bite. I manage a local pastaria. Real nice, upscale kind of thing. The restaurant is everything to me. See, it’s directly inspired by my childhood. Growing up, my mother passed away when I was young and my father built a garden in her honor. He grew olives. So, when I finally achieved my dream of opening a restaurant in both their honors, I called it The Olive Garden. I had no idea there was already apparently a different restaurant with the name.
WB: On that note. It is my understanding that you and your establishment are currently on the bad end of a lawsuit from Darden Restaurants, the company that owns the Italian restaurant franchise Olive Garden, not to be confused with your Olive Garden. It would appear to me that right there we have one of the main reasons for the suing, in the use the same name.
JA: This is what I’ve been trying to tell people. The name is a complete and total coincidence. Before a few weeks ago, I never even heard of this other place.
WB: That’s interesting to me considering they opened the first of their chain in 1982 and your restaurant was founded in 2017.
JA: It’s just like horses and zebras. Same animal different stripes, you know?
WB: I’m afraid I have no idea what that means. I’d love to move on to your restaurant motto. Could you talk about your catchphrase and how you came up with it?
JA: Yeah. See, we at Olive Garden, the real Olive Garden, not the poser one.
WB: Again they were first.
JA: Whatever. We want to make our customers feel completely supported and loved. We are here for them when they need us. Unwavering. They aren’t strangers here. That is why we are proud of our motto, “when you’re here, you’re our family.”
WB: Right… and again you had no idea that was already the popular tag line of the other Olive Garden franchise?
JA: What? You’re yanking my noodle right now. It is?
WB: Just because this is going to be a written interview I feel I need to verbally state that your tone was completely unconvincing.
JA: You really gotta say that out loud? You can’t just put some authors note or something on there. Seems pretty rude if you ask me.
Authors note: Mr. Anthill is clearly becoming aggravated.
WB: But to answer your question, yes, the motto of Olive Garden is “when you’re here, you’re family.”
JA: Oh, see, right there. Ours has that “our” in there. “Our family.” Very different.
WB: Legally I don’t think so.
JA: Oh so you’re a lawyer, now?
WB: I am not.
JA: Multitalented over here! The first ever journalist slash lawyer. Where does he find the time?
…
WB: I want to ask about your logo.
JA: Oh boy.
WB: Who designed it? What was their inspiration?
JA: I did! It’s just some nice font and little leaf branch thing. Literally who cares! I made it in like five minutes.
WB: Okay. If that’s true, would it be alright if I showed you a picture of the Olive Garden on East Sullivan Avenue, followed by a picture of your Olive Garden, and you can point out the differences to me?
JA: Oh, this is easy. Look, the curvature on their lettering is a full degree tilted further south East than mine. Plus, my branch has much sharper shading than theirs.
WB: Those were both pictures of the East Sullivan Olive Garden.
JA: That probably looks pretty bad. Does that look bad? You won’t print that part will you? Stop writing!
WB: Let me ask about your signature dish. I’ve been told your establishment boasts a popular combination of limitless salad and breadsticks?
JA: I’ll boast limitless amounts of my foot in your ass.
WB: There is no need for that sir.
JA: No, there is! You come to talk about my restaurant and then want to spend the whole interview talking about some restaurant no one has ever heard of. Look, was my business failing a few years ago? Yes. Did I do a complete overhaul of our menu, decor, and name? Also yeah. Did business pick up exponentially after it? I don’t think I have to answer that. So maybe keep your accusations to yourself before you cause irreparable damage to upstanding local eatery. Who did you even you say you were with? Some food blog.
WB: I’m the legal representative from the national restaurant association sent to conduct an interview on whether or not I believe you stole the designs of Olive Garden on purpose.
JA: I see.
WB: I had no idea about any of what you just said about your business failing.
JA: Ah.
WB: Yeah.
JA: I’m going to jail?
WB: Yes, sir.