We at Robot Butt love the NFL draft, but you know what we love even more than the draft itself? Mock drafts, baby! That’s why we put together our ultimate fantasy mock draft mock draft to make some much-needed sense of this year’s crop of talent.
1. Los Angeles Rams
Mel Kiper’s 2005 Mock Draft #3: Los Angeles traded up for a reason. They have so many holes to fill and season ticket holders to gain with the move. They need a spark and the players in this mock draft from 2005 is the best bet.
2. Philadelphia Eagles
Scott Hound XM85 in the Morning “Release the Hound” 2008 Mock Draft #8: Philadelphia has a new regime and needs to do something to appease this depressed fan base. This mock draft is a relative unknown but is such a position of need in today’s game that the Eagles can’t pass it up, especially after the bounty they gave to Cleveland to jump up to this spot.
3. San Diego Chargers
Todd McShay’s 2012 Mock Draft #1: Back to basics for the Chargers. Philip Rivers needs protection and he’s sure to find it in this mock. The first two picks in this draft were certainties, but this San Diego pick will shape the trajectory of the entire first round.
4. Dallas Cowboys
Mel Kiper’s 2015 Mock Draft #27- Jerry Jones is a betting man, but a Kiper mock is the kind of safe bet Cowboy fans can live with.
5. Jacksonville Jaguars
PhillyFanGuys.com 2012 Mock Draft #4- Don’t be deceived by the “small school” label of this mock – it has a motor that doesn’t stop.
6. Baltimore Ravens
Todd McShay’s 2007 Mock Draft #3- The Ravens don’t mess around in the draft. They go safe, solid and blue blood with this pick.
7. San Francisco 49ers
Bayside Bashers 98.5 “The Bashhhhh” 2015 Mock Draft #2 – Chip Kelly is in town, and this high-speed local product will get the city excited for what will likely be another down year.
8. Cleveland Browns
Poop FM Sirius Satellite Bolivian Talk Sports “We Know All the Sports” 2009 Mock Draft #86 – The analytics guys are in town and they are playing some real moneyball with this rarely-heard-of mock draft. While there is tremendous upside, it’s also a huge risk for a franchise that’s been struggling since its return….cue the montage of starting quarterback failures.
9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Mel Kiper’s 2006 Mock Draft #3 – They got their quarterback and wide receivers of the future in previous drafts. Now they are playing old-school football with this pick.
10. New York Giants
Todd McShay’s 2007 Mock Draft #9 – Eli Manning only has so many years left in the league. Odell Beckham, Jr. has proven himself the last two seasons. This pick will shore up the defensive line.
11. Chicago Bears
Mel Kiper’s 2016 Mock Draft #4 or Todd McShay’s 2001 Mock Draft #3 or Mel Kiper’s 2014 Mock Draft #2- It’s a fire sale in Chicago!!!! Expect them to trade this pick or get some offensive line help or get some wide receiver help or rebuild that secondary or address special teams or trade up or completely fold as a franchise.
12. New Orleans Saints
New Orleans 95 FM Mouth of the South “Domes!!!! Mardi Gras!!! Sports!!!!” 2006 Mock Draft #4 – Drew Brees only has a couple more years left, the defense is a mess and we will tell you all year about the difference of playing in a dome versus playing in “The Elements.” Look for New Orleans to address defense.
13. Miami Dolphins
Don Plantain’s Cuban Sports Talk Havana 790 AM “The Heat” 2014 Mock Draft #5 – Miami tried to address the defensive line last offseason and it didn’t work. Look for them to make that pick here as Don finally ends his draft-day tumble.
14. Oakland Raiders
Vegas Sports Gambling Magazine “Vegas+Athletes=Herpes” 2016 Mock Draft #4 – Oakland owner Mark Davis looking to move the team to Las Vegas. With a local product as the pick, expect that speculation to lead the Raider headlines.
15. Tennessee Titans
Mel Kiper’s 1808 Mock Draft #2 – Tennessee traded back to acquire more picks. They got their quarterback of the future last year. Eddie George used to play for them. These are all facts about Tennessee. Now let’s continue to speculate.
16. Detroit Lions
Todd McShay’s 1993 Mock Draft #1 – So many questions in Detroit and not enough answers. This was McShay’s first mock draft, which he did at the age of two. It won’t solve everything but it will solve nothing.
17. Atlanta Falcons
Atlanta Kiss AM in the Morning “Sports!!! Domes!!! Braves!!!” 2013 Mock Draft #6 – If you play in a dome, then you know what they say about playing in a dome. “Gotta draft a dome guy, he’ll understand a dome.”
18. Indianapolis Colts
Mel Kiper’s 1980 Mock Draft Special #4: A Look at Middle Schoolers – A real reach here but it could pay off. When you have Andrew Luck and you’re in that conference you just sit back and wait for Tom Brady to retire.
19. Buffalo Bills
Canadian Free Press Journal on Mock Drafts 2000 Edition – A treasure from the north, this mock draft has the speed to be a real factor, but question marks from the time he was three and cried at the circus raised a few red flags.
20. New York Jets
New York Daily Reporter Beacon Press: The Sports Guys With the New York Sports Attitude “You Talking to Me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!” Annual 1998 Joe Namath Mock Draft #2 – Gotta go with a New York guy who is like Joe Namath, who won a Super Bowl!!! New York!!!! Jets!!!!
21. Washington Redskins
Navajo National Red Feather Little Crow Squatting Eagle 2008 Mock Draft #17 – Our ancestors have looked to the sky and we must pay homage to them with this pick. He will look great in that modest and subtle Redskins helmet.
22. Houston Texans
BBQ Primes’ Hog Heaven 2012 Mock Draft and Rib Cook-Off – Two things Texas does right: BBQ and losing in the first round of the playoffs. Look for that to continue with this pick.
23. Minnesota Vikings
Mel Kiper’s 1965 Mock Draft #88 – As Teddy Bridgewater continues his development, this mock will help give him the protection he’ll need. Originally projected as a mid-second-round pick, he could go here because we don’t really know what we’re talking about.
24. Cincinnati Bengals
Chino Correctional Facility Warden’s 2004 Mock Draft #32 – An unsurprising pick of a player with plenty of character flaws. He has raw talent and insane athleticism, but surely the off-the-field issues will creep up.
25. Pittsburgh Steelers
Mel Kiper and Todd McShay Present: A Safe Pick That Will Likely Work Out 2007 Mock Draft #4 – It’s the Steelers. It doesn’t matter who or when. It’ll be fine.
26. Seattle Seahawks
Load Fans Digest Guide to Draft Picks 2011 or 2012 or 2013…Wait When Did We Hop on This Bandwagon? Mock Draft #1 – LEGION OF BOOM! Ever heard of it? Skittles! EVER EATEN THEM? Pete Carroll! Players’ coach!!!!!
27. Green Bay Packers
Johns Hopkins 2000 Medical Journal on Injured Wide Receivers #4 – Green Bay needs to increase its depth at wide receiver. They will, and do, but what if they don’t? What’s the point of anything?
28. Kansas City Chiefs
Game Manager in the Morning: The Alex Smith Show 2015 Mock Draft #8 – Kansas City is really hoping this pick gives Alex Smith even morning five-yards-and-out ammunition for that second round playoff rout that will certainly happen.
29. Arizona Cardinals
Mel Kiper’s 2006 Mock Draft #2 – Arizona is only a piece or two away and this piece will surely be the piece that gets them there, unless there is an injury or he isn’t the piece they need. In which case, the second-round piece will be the one, unless he isn’t.
30. Carolina Panthers
SEC Free Press: The Mouth of the South 2006-2012 Mock Draft #2 – Carolina has Cam Newtown. He’s good and from the SEC. Therefore, expect the Panthers to draft another SEC guy at this spot because that is some expert analysis.
31. Denver Broncos
Todd McShay’s 2019 Mock Draft #4 – A bold pick, but a look to the future sees the quarterback Denver has been searching for. The defense got paid after the last postseason and the Broncos weren’t good or bad enough to position themselves until 2018.