Why didn’t you all just tell us? We would have joined way sooner if we had any idea that you wanted this. I didn’t even consider it until we received a recent email. I’m posting the body of the email here. It’s unedited except I’ve redacted out the personal info just in case this person is a huge fan of the site and would be embarrassed to be put on blast like this:
Hi there, my name is [REDACTED] and I am the owner of [REDACTED] – a professional OF agency based in [REDACTED].
That said, we have been able to scale quite a few creators from $0 to five figures per month – regardless of looks, age, or existing social media following.
Now I wouldn’t be surprised if you get messages like this all the time. And I know agencies don’t have the best reputation.
But if working with a reliable team (and a great guy like me) sounds like something you’d be interested in, then feel free to reply to this email.
If not, have a great day!
It’s pretty obvious to me that we received this email because we have “butt” in our name, but I’m not going to jump to any snap decisions that might get in the way of me taking our site’s profits down to five figures. We’ve been looking to scale down, after-all.
So, what would our OnlyFans content look like? Steve and I take our shirts off? Can’t do it, we aren’t allowed to anymore after a video we made for “Monster Week 2018.” How about more of my zany photoshops, except this time I make them wildly sexy? Also can’t do it. We had a stock photo model reach out to us after we ran an article with his photo titled “I Ate Literal Shit and I’m Going Back for Seconds.” He said kids in his school were making fun of him and now I’m far more contemplative about how I abuse stock photo subjects. That’s true, by the way.
What else is left? What else do people pay for on OnlyFans?
Feet pics.
But whose feet do we use? Can’t use mine or Steve’s (Monster Week 2016). But what about… my friend Ryan who I use for a lot of my header images? Should we have considered just starting a Patreon first? Impossible to say.
Here’s what I do know. we already have a logo that is literally showing his ass. It feels so obvious now. We don’t need to join OnlyFans as us, we need to join OnlyFans as HIM. Our Robot should be posting lewd content. He (and us by proxy) would go from making no money to making five figures a month. Hell, maybe even a year!
So I grabbed the contact info for the artist that created our logo back in 2014 and reached out to see if he wanted to partner up for this brilliant idea.
He was in!
Then he was out!
I’m assuming it was too many drawings for his packed dance card. We will not be joining OnlyFans after-all, and I will unfortunately have to turn down the mysterious man who offered to make us rich. Unless, one of you reading this knows how to draw and has a lot of free time…