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    Home»All Content»The Hub»Articles»Fiction»I’m in the Back of the Henchmen Line, Waiting for my Turn to Attack the Main Character
    Fiction

    I’m in the Back of the Henchmen Line, Waiting for my Turn to Attack the Main Character

    Walt BraleyBy Walt BraleyMarch 8, 2023Updated:March 9, 2023No Comments4 Mins Read
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    Can you believe this guy? Look at him! I don’t care if he is wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses inside, I bet he don’t weigh a buck seventy soakin’ wet. And he just walks into OUR bar like he owns the place. Yeah, let’s all get up from our table and head that way. Okay, cool, we’ll make our way over to him in order. That’s good, yeah. Uh, oh, looks like Big Dave is talking to him. 

    Did you guys hear that, he told Big Dave he’s “not looking for any trouble,” and Big Dave said, “trouble just found you.” You know Big Dave is going to roughly poke his shoulder or knock his sunglasses off for that one. 

    There it is! He dumped his beer on the floor and told him he’s finished his drink so he better get out of here. Man, Big Dave is on fire tonight! 

    Oh, boy, cool guy over here is standing up. Hear that, he said, “walk away, this doesn’t go well for you.” Ha! This guy’s never seen Big Dave’s right hook. It could drop an elephant. This is getting too good. Alright, I’m getting involved.

    Rough him up Big Dave!

    Hehe, did you guys hear that? This dude is toast now. Big Dave nodded back to me. He’s definitely going to rough him up now. There it is! Big Dave just hit him with the “there’s six of us and only one of you” line! I never get tired of that line.

    He’s taking his leather jacket off! Whoa… this loser has some guns on him. I wasn’t expecting him to be sleeveless, either. He’s pretty cut. You think he focuses on lower max with higher reps?

    Oh, right, fighting positions. Let’s ruin this guy. Okay, Big Dave will go first, then fiery Mikey is already up there so he should attack second if needed. Behind him will be JJ but I doubt we’ll even use him. Then Sam, then me, then Beefer in the back. Dang, us back-of-the-line boys drew the short straws tonight, there’s no chance we see any of this action. Now, remember, we all put our fists up and strafe in a circle around this jerkwad, but nobody attacks simultaneously. We abide by an honor code around here, and we henchmen ain’t got nothing if we ain’t got our honor.

    Oh shit! He just dropped Big Dave with a single lightning-fast roundhouse kick. I didn’t even see him move! His sunglasses are still on his head… Well, what are you waiting for, go get him, Mikey! Mikey will teach this guy a lesson. He’s got this patented palm strike he does where he swings his hand and kind of tilts it so that-

    Mikey! No! The guy just swept his legs out! This is unreal. I mean, I get that the guy is clearly well-trained but we have the numbers advantage. How is this happening? It’s a six on one for gosh sake! Oh well, I guess this one is all you JJ. Go get em!

    …

    Alright. Sam, listen, you can take this guy. Put his lights out! 

    Okay, Sam is taking a lot of shots, huh? Listen, Beefer, switch places with me.

    No! I’m not scared, I just realized that I haven’t tightened my laces. I’ll be off-center when I jump in there and I need a second to lace up. Just switch me Beefer, Sam is getting killed out there. This guy just smashed a glass on his head then shattered a pool cue across his back.

    Get your hands up Sam! Defense buddy! Watch for his right!

    Beefer! Just switch me, come on.

    No, I am not going to “do the thing I always do.” I am not going to wait until he’s knocked all of you out, then run out of the bar after he flinches at me. I wouldn’t do that.

    Thank you! Okay, perfect timing, cause Sam has been unconscious for the last thirty seconds of their fight. The guy just hasn’t let him fall down. Jump in there.

    Doing great Beefer! Love that move where you smashed a chair against his back while he was still hitting Sam. Not completely by the book but it’s the first shot we’ve landed so letting it slide. 

    Wow… just wow. You slammed Beefer’s head against the bar and drug it across slamming into all sorts of drinks and snacks. Pretty ruthless… Yeah, imma bounce. Point proven. I’ll head out. Good fight! Great fight, even. We both really went all in back there…

    henchmen Walt Braley
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    Walt Braley

    Walt Braley is an editor for the site you're reading right now. He took up comedy after being unmasked and forced to retire comically early in his luchador wrestling career.

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