Welcome to Earth.
Everyone should remain calm. Take cover where you can but the important thing is not to panic.
—
Jesus God! The sky’s on fire!
Let’s issue statements advising people not to panic, to stay home and take cover.
—
Spraying insecticide wildly, the plane zigzags over the field.
—
Around us we see other cars packed to the gills as they make their escape from New York.
[We] stare at our phones, pissed. Something on TV catches [our] attention.
—
You scared, man?
No. You?
No. Hold me.
—
What are we supposed to do now? Huh? Where are we supposed to go now?
—
Cut to an old Russian satellite:
You think they have any idea what’s about to happen to them?
Not a chance in hell.
—
Of course, Russia and the United States are in this together.
Yes, Mr. President, you have my word.
Yes, Das Vedanya.
—
On the TV behind [us], news footage of the phenomenon in Russia plays silently. Oblivious, [we] work [on our] computers.
—
The general shoots a disapproving glance.
I don’t know how you put up with him.
Our official position is we don’t have an official position.
The press is making up their own stories at this point.
The room is silenced. All eyes turn to the president, who says nothing.
Mr. President, I’d sure like to know what you’re doing.
—
This can’t be right.
We’re gonna have to work on our communication.
—
You punched the president?
Looks like a big turd.
Well that’s good news.
Not really.
Now what do we do?
—
All you need is love. John Lennon. Smart man. Shot in the back, very sad.
God help us.
In the distance we see the mutated phenomenon’s dark gray clouds nearing Miss Liberty. As it approaches we see the New York skyline begin to darken.
A toast to the end of the world.
—
Didn’t I promise you fireworks?
Everyone stares in wonder at the beautiful lights.
