1. Go to the Gym Together
Breaking a sweat in the gym is a great prelude to breaking a sweat in the bedroom! After your workout, take a break at the juice bar to people watch. Find the biggest, strongest person and punch him or her in the face to show your partner that you’re not afraid of anything — except a comfortable yet boring marriage.
2. Spice Up Game Night
Instead of the usual board games and takeout, surprise your husband by making him solve a series of increasingly difficult puzzles to escape from a human-size birdcage. Decorate the cage with dried flowers and photos from your honeymoon. It’s the little things that show him you care!
3. Try a New Recipe
Go online and find an adventurous new recipe for fake blood. Even though store-bought blood is more convenient, make it from scratch to show him he’s worth the extra effort. Drizzle a trail of blood from the front door to the bedroom. On the bed, leave a bloody knife and a note that says “You’ll never find her.” Before he can call the police, pop out of the closet wearing your best lingerie.
4. Take a Spontaneous Trip
Call a sitter and pretend you’re going to dinner and a movie. When you arrive at the restaurant, surprise your partner by stealing a car and driving to a shed in the New Mexico desert. Choose a car with a big backseat, so you can stop for make-out sessions along the way! When you get to the shed, make and sell methamphetamine until you have enough cash to retire to Mexico.
5. Make His Wish Come True
Dress up like a sexy genie. Ask your husband to write his wildest sexual fantasies on slips of paper and put them in a jar. When he goes to the bathroom, throw the slips of paper away and replace them with ones that all say the same thing: “Sacrifice a goat.” Tell him to rub the jar and make a wish. To show you trust him, let your husband select the goat. Working as a team to earn the favor of the deity of your choice will remind you why you married each other in the first place.
6. Enjoy the Great Outdoors
Blindfold your husband and drive him to a romantic clearing in the woods. After s’mores, get a little physical by digging “his” and “hers” graves. Decorate the gravestones with dried flowers and photos from your honeymoon. Assure him that, even if you die first, he will never be alone because you will always be with him in the form of a vengeful ghost.
