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    Home»All Content»Uncanny Valley»Breaking News»Freshmen Eager to Begin Path to Crippling Debt
    Breaking News

    Freshmen Eager to Begin Path to Crippling Debt

    Robot Butt News Corp.By Robot Butt News Corp.September 8, 2014Updated:March 13, 2019No Comments2 Mins Read
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    College Freshmen in DebtFALLDALE, Ind. – It’s been a few weeks since school started, but the freshmen at Benton University are still full of excitement about their upcoming college career. From classes and books to dorms and dinner, these college kids can’t wait to start making friends and debts that will last a lifetime.

    Brian Baker, a freshman Poli-Sci student, says that one of the things he’s most excited about is hanging out with his new roommate in the dorms.

    “We’re really going to make this a cool place to hang out. First thing we’re doing is setting up my Playstation 4 [purchased with money from student loans] in our [120% over market value] dorm room.”

    His roommate Joe Collins is excited about the room, too. Joe says he’s really looking forward to one day wishing he’d have the $12 back for his Bob Marley poster, so he could put it toward one-fifteenth of his monthly student loan.

    “Luckily,” Joe added, “the Kohl’s Cash® my mom and grandma gave me for graduation will go a long way toward my new comforter and microwaveable tupperware [but not the shriveled remnants of my self-worth when I later cry into the comforter as a broke 30-year-old living at home.]”

    But college isn’t just about hanging out. It’s about studying too, as 18-year-old Julie Evans will be the first to tell you.

    “I can’t wait to start my work study program. Working during the semester should almost completely cover the cost of my textbooks.”

    As Julie heads off to her first class of the day she adds, “What can I say? I’m forever in debt to my school!”

     

     

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