Close Menu
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Robot Butt
    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      NEW REALITY TV SHOWS FOR DONALD TRUMP

      September 17, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Planet Of The Vampires (1965)

      September 15, 2026

      Next Minions Movie Announced: Minions & Speech Therapists 

      September 2, 2026

      TOP-GROSSING ROCK REUNION TOURS THIS SUMMER

      August 24, 2026

      20 Genre-Bending College Rock Bands To Try Out After They Exist

      July 26, 2026

      FUN & HARMLESS WAYS TO MOTIVATE YOUR BLUES MUSICIAN BFF

      May 12, 2026

      EVERY LEGAL CHARGE BY HIS MAJESTY’S GOVERNMENT AGAINST “THE ANDREW FORMERLY KNOWN AS PRINCE”

      May 4, 2026

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      NEW REALITY TV SHOWS FOR DONALD TRUMP

      September 17, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Planet Of The Vampires (1965)

      September 15, 2026

       High Politics in Sequins: Welcome to Eurovision  

      September 10, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      A Cartoon About A Prawn

      June 13, 2026

      Two Cartoons About Apples

      June 11, 2026

      A Cartoon About Pocket Notebooks

      May 31, 2026

      Steel Toe Tommy

      September 21, 2026

      Nursery Rhymes – Ancient Wisdom Or Nefarious Lies?

      September 8, 2026

      PAPPY’S ICED TEA

      June 21, 2026

      This End Up

      June 7, 2026
    • History

      An Oral History Of The Heimlich Maneuver

      September 18, 2026

      Nursery Rhymes – Ancient Wisdom Or Nefarious Lies?

      September 8, 2026

      Alexander The Great Solves The Gordian Knot

      August 3, 2026

      Clarifications From Count Dracula

      August 2, 2026

      America’s 250th Anniversary – State Motto Update

      July 27, 2026
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      Modern Hail Sizes for a Golf Ball Illiterate Nation

      October 11, 2026

      SpaceX to Launch One Trillion Dollars to the Sun

      September 12, 2026

      Sociologist Who Lost 23 Pairs of Glasses Finally Cracks Mosh Pit Code

      September 11, 2026

      2026 Virtual National Labor Day Picnic Celebration: AI Agents And Assistants Only; Humans Not Invited

      September 7, 2026

      I Have Become A Haiku Master

      July 5, 2026

      Local Airline Pilot Takes Train To Work

      April 2, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      Do’s and Don’ts for Your First Camping Trip 

      September 22, 2026

      National Retailers Renamed To Boost Halloween Sales 

      September 16, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      PLEASE STOP BETTING ON MY IMPROV SHOWS ON KALSHI!

      August 11, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Mr. Go (2013)

      August 4, 2026

      “Best in Show” Extreme Breed Makeover

      July 20, 2026

      DAT ASS Is Going To Revolutionize—And Democratize—Professional Sports As We Know It

      July 11, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      Beyond Gulf and Lake of America, Hey! Plans To Name And Rename Bodies Of Water

      September 9, 2026

      Next Minions Movie Announced: Minions & Speech Therapists 

      September 2, 2026

      Iran Gains Control Of Reflecting Pool

      August 31, 2026

      Mindfulness App Achieves Sentience: Immediately Develops Anxiety

      August 23, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Here’s a Client Testimonial About Our Realtor, Walt

      October 14, 2026

      Robot Butt is Selling a House!

      October 13, 2026

      We, the Interns at the Robot Butt, Make the Following Demands

      September 23, 2026

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Here’s a Client Testimonial About Our Realtor, Walt

      October 14, 2026

      Robot Butt is Selling a House!

      October 13, 2026

      We, the Interns at the Robot Butt, Make the Following Demands

      September 23, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Real Estate Listing for a Haunted House

      October 16, 2026

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Real Estate Listing for a Haunted House

      October 16, 2026

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Real Estate Listing for a Haunted House

      October 16, 2026

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Real Estate Listing for a Haunted House

      October 16, 2026

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Home»All Content»Three Ways Health Insurance Companies Can Be Dicks
    All Content

    Three Ways Health Insurance Companies Can Be Dicks

    Tim GaydosBy Tim GaydosJuly 23, 2014Updated:March 13, 2019No Comments8 Mins Read
    Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email

    Regardless of where you stand on the spectrum of “Best Thing Ever!” and “Socialism, Kill It With Fire!”, the Affordable Care Act (or Obamacare) has pretty much succeeded in terms of its goal to dramatically increase the number of insured in the country. Hooray! Everyone has insurance and life is wonderful!

    Here’s the thing, though. For many of the newly insured, this is now the first time they have had medical insurance. Or maybe you’re a young adult who is off your parents’ plan and fending for yourself for the first time. If you’ve never dealt with it before, it can be as confusing and frustrating as trying to find a joke in a Jeff Dunham routine. Hell, it’s only because I’ve been working in the health care industry the past couple years that I have a handle on how crazy medical insurance is. Unfortunately, most people don’t have that benefit, and don’t realize things like…

    There Are Multiple Ways Your Insurance Can Make You Pay

    When most people look at health insurance coverage, they tend to focus on the premium, or the monthly payments you make to your insurance. Think of it like a subscription fee, only instead of getting unlimited movies streaming to your computer, you get the promise that if shit gets real, the insurance company will help you with the medical bills. And since you have to pay the premium whether you go to the doctor or not, people predictably seek out low premium plans, thinking they are being thrifty shoppers and getting a good deal.

    Disembodied head knows a good deal when she sees one
    Disembodied head knows a good deal when she sees one

    But the premium is just the beginning. Despite paying that every month, insurance companies can still make you pay for most, if not all, of the bill if you don’t pay attention. They break down into three types of cost:

    Copays – Most people are familiar with copays, a small, flat fee that you pay upfront when you go to the doctor’s office. Like a cover to get into a bar but instead of serving alcohol they give you colonoscopies.

    Deductable – This is the big one. A deductible is the amount of money you have to spend yourself before the insurance company will start making payments. This is in addition to the premiums you have to pay every month. Oh yeah, remember how I said most people focus on the premiums and think having a low premium is good? The trade-off is that low premium plans tend to have ridiculously high deductible amounts. Like, five or six grand high for an individual (for family plans, the deductible could easily be over ten grand).

    So yeah, you may only be paying $60 or $70 per month for the premium, and one routine exam a year is pretty much covered no matter what, but expect a hefty bill for anything else. And did I mention that prescriptions often have their own separate deductible? And that it resets at the calendar year? So if you start your coverage in October and pay towards your deductible, come January you have to start all over. Insurance is fun!

    Above: Fun
    Above: Fun

    Coinsurance – Let’s say you meet your deductible for the year. Now you won’t have to pay for anything else, right? HA! It’s like you think the insurance companies care about you. No, more likely than not once the deductible is met your plan shifts to a coinsurance cost share. Typically this is factored as a percentage, where your insurance pays X percent and you are responsible for Y percent.

    The breakdown and amounts vary from plan to plan, and it’s much better than having to pay for everything, but you are still shelling out money until you meet your out-of-pocket maximum, another set amount that varies. Once you reach that, you bare no further liability. But about the out-of-pocket maximum…

    Not Everything You Pay Applies To The Maximum

    I should first point out that not all plans have out-of-pocket maximums. If it doesn’t, you could end up paying at least partial costs of services forever and ever. Most plans do, though, and as I said before, the amount of your out-of-pocket maximum varies from plan to plan. It seems simple enough. The out-of-pocket maximum is the most you are allowed to pay out of pocket. This is actually a really great safeguard for the insured. If you need to have a surgery that costs $10,000, but your out-of-pocket max is $5000, then the most you have to pay is the five grand, saving you the other $5,000. Do you even know how much Taco Bell that can get you?!

    Like, ten cases of diabetes worth
    Like, ten cases of diabetes’ worth

    But that puts the insurance on the hook for everything once the maximum is met, and they don’t particularly care for that. That’s why they have their own clever ways of prolonging you from meeting that max. For starters, copays almost never apply to the out-of-pocket max. But wait, there’s more! Some plans don’t count your deductible towards the max. In that case, if you have a $1,000 deductible and a $5,000 out-of-pocket maximum, you actually will have to pay a total of $6,000 out-of-pocket instead of the five grand you might reasonably assume. And sometimes what you pay toward prescriptions may not count towards it, either. It’s almost like the insurance companies don’t want to have to pay for anything.

    Of course, this is all assuming that your services are covered, because…

    No Insurance Covers Everything

    One thing I always hear from people when they get a bill is, “I shouldn’t have a bill, my insurance covers everything!” The idea of an insurance covering everything is misperception, similar to humans only using 10% of their brains or Megan Fox being an actress. No insurance, no matter how good, covers everything.

    Some things are obvious. Insurances do not cover elective services, so any plastic surgery or liposuctions are coming out of your pocket. You don’t get to be one of the beautiful people for free, after all. Fertility treatments of any sort are also usually non-covered services. But then there are things you might not expect. Well-child visits for children are covered, but the developmental test usually done as part of it normally isn’t. Why is that? Fuck if I know! And if you know someone who is on Medicare, it won’t cover any self-administered drugs for outpatient services (unless they also have Medicare part D). Sometimes there is a limit to the number of a type of service you can have for the year. You only get one routine visit with your physician, for example. Physical therapy usually caps out after so many visits, and then they are non-covered.

    Insurances will also label services as non-covered if they consider them “experimental” or “not medically necessary”. Honestly, I don’t know how insurance companies determine what is medically necessary or not. A patient once had a torn ACL and needed knee surgery, and their insurance said it was non-covered because it wasn’t medically necessary. How they came to that conclusion is anyone’s guess, but my money is they were drunk on vodka and cough medicine.

    Above: Aetna's policy writer
    Above: Aetna’s policy writer

    This left the patient with the options to either suck up the costs or appeal the insurance company’s decision, which would involve collecting all of her medical records and notes from her doctor and surgeon and who knows how many hours of her life. I’m not sure what ultimately happened, but the point is that her insurance was being as helpful as a Paula Deen is to a nutritional diet.

    None of this is to say you shouldn’t get insurance. FOR THE LOVE OF ZEUS, GET INSURANCE. I have seen too many people have their lives catastrophically upended because they needed a surgery or some other service but didn’t have any coverage. What I do want to get across is how much you need to pay attention when you are picking insurance plans, and even once you’ve selected one, because if you don’t you will get screwed by our for-profit health care policies. Just as our Founding Fathers intended.

    Related articles
    • Are You Shopping for Health Insurance? Here’s What to Look For
    • 11 Tips for Maximizing Your Healthcare Deductions
    • 6 things to know about deductibles in the Health Insurance Marketplace
    • Get Fit, Get Moving, Get Healthy
    • Barack Obama’s “Between Two Ferns” Episode Was Actually Pretty Good
    Affordable Care Act deductible Health insurance Obamacare Out-of-pocket expenses premium
    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Tim Gaydos

    Tim is a contributor for Robot Butt and is not hosting a parasitic xenomorph inside him, so just don't worry about it, ok? You can disagree with his opinions on Twitter @timthinksthings.

    Related Posts

    Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

    October 18, 2026

    Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

    October 17, 2026

    Real Estate Listing for a Haunted House

    October 16, 2026
    Leave A Reply

    Search Robot Butt
    Read More Robot Butt

    The 50 Best Movies of the 1990s

    NASA History: What Were the Objectives of Every Apollo Mission?

    These Are the Weirdest Promotions in Major League Baseball History

    The Robot Butt Podcasts
    Robot Butt Podcasts

    Check out the Robot Butt Podcasts and then give a listen to our friends below:

    ROGUE SQUADRON PODCAST

    Star Wars, beer, music, video games and more!
    The Robot Butt Videos
    Robot Butt Videos

    Unrelenting comedy in video form!
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram Pinterest
    © 2026 ThemeSphere. Designed by ThemeSphere.

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.