NEW YORK CITY – President-elect Donald Trump announced this morning his intent to take the upcoming oath of office on his personal copy of The Art of the Deal. The press conference, held at Trump Tower, revealed that Trump will be the first president to take the oath on a non-religious text since Theodore Roosevelt in 1902. The incoming Commander-in-Chief said that he felt that the 288-page New Testament was not substantive enough and pointed out that his own book “…has an extra 84 pages, each one fantastic,” and was therefore better.
When it was pointed out that most presidents take the oath on the full 1,200-page Bible, Trump stated that they were “two books, doesn’t count.”
Trump then asked Franklin Graham to hold up a new copy of the hardcover business book, saying, “I mean, look at this guy. This guy, right here, he would have made Pontius Pilate crucify himself after making him pay for the nails.” The evangelist then read a passage from the book on how the now President-elect copes with everyone being jealous of his success.
In a brief question-and-answer period, Trump was asked about his comments on the campaign trail when he stated that “The Art of the Deal is second to the Bible” at Liberty University. “We’ll be number one, by the end of my inauguration, you can believe that,” the real estate mogul said before carts were wheeled in to block the exits and the book was offered at its full suggest retail price of $28.00.