Some things just aren’t meant to last. Does that mean they weren’t worth trying? Of course not. I met an amazing man, fell head over heels for him, and eventually our love faded. That’s life. The important thing is that even if it was only for a moment, together we burned brighter than any star in the galaxy, and that’s something that no one can ever take away from us.
But those days are gone, and now the best thing for both of us is to turn around, walk away from here, and never look back. But before we do, it’s only right we kiss, one last time, so we can both remember what it felt like to be in love, even if we’ll never know that feeling again.
Oh, c’mere you.
Uh. Hm. Alright.
That’s it?
I mean, if this kiss signifies the end of our tumultuous, years long romance, at least use some tongue. Right? Like, you don’t have to go crazy with it but maybe just a little something to spice it up? This is it. This is the last one. Ever. Maybe bite my lip or something? C’mon man, give me something to remember you by!
I’m not saying we have to get handsy or anything but I don’t know, run your fingers through my hair, kiss my neck, whatever you’re comfortable with, but let’s not leave things on that awkward little peck. After all these years? Almost a decade of will they/won’t they sexual tension, a three-year-long whirlwind romance that was ultimately cursed by our mutual fear of commitment – and you won’t even grab my ass?
Grow a pair, dude, c’mon. This isn’t an 8th-grade dance, let’s see some skin. Get that shirt off.
Listen, my roommates are out of town until this weekend. We could head back to my place right now, sort this whole “have sex one last time to say goodbye” thing out, and then see how the rest of this week goes.
My parents are coming into town tomorrow and I know how well you guys get along. I’m sure they’d be happy to hear we’re back together and I know deep down you always felt you could open up to them more than you could open up to your own parents. Then we can just take it slow for a few months until it becomes impossible to ignore the fact that financially it makes more sense for us to live together. Once we’re splitting rent and groceries and everything it won’t be that hard to convince each other that we’re sure enough about this to get engaged and that things between us won’t end the way they ended between your parents. My parents will pay for the ceremony, leading me to resent you and your family’s inability to chip in despite the fact that if you ever asked me I’d obviously say that it doesn’t bother me and that we just come from different backgrounds. You’ll pick up on that resentment and essentially close yourself off to me, leading to our eventual divorce 15 years later.
Is all that really so much to ask for? Alright, let’s give that smooch a second try. And I want to feel some real passion this time. This is our last kiss, c’mon.
