‘Tis the season for delicious treats with holistic balance, and we’ve got a recipe that won’t disappoint. This year, your family can enjoy healthy, and tasty, treats that will beg the question, “So, what is my sun sign then?”
First, preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Gather all of your ingredients to get started. You will need the following:
- 1 cup butter, unsalted and softened
- 1 cup cane sugar
- 1 cup brown sugar
- A pile of sage leaves
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1 hair of a collie
- 2 eggs
- 3 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 bird’s feather
- 2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
- 1 rose quartz
- 2 teaspoons of hot water
- 2 teaspoons of femme moon blood
- 1 maple leaf
You will also need the following tools:
- 1 rabbit’s paw
- 1 jade roller
- Your deep inner wisdom from your past lives
Cream together the softened butter, cane sugar and brown sugar until smooth. Beat in eggs one at a time while slowly stirring in the vanilla.
In a separate bowl, light your sage leaves on fire. Let them burn for approximately thirty seconds.
Say this mantra: Into this smoke I release all energies that do not serve me, all negativity that surrounds me, and all fears that limit me. So it is.
Move to all four corners of the room with the burning sage.
Dissolve baking soda into hot water. Add to batter along with salt. Stir in flour and chocolate chips.
Take your hair of a collie and bird’s feather, rotate both pieces around the bowl with the batter in it. Caw three times like a raven.
Drop large spoonfuls of batter onto ungreased pans. Take your jade roller and massage your face; the baker must be at peace with themselves for this energy to be translated into the cookies.
Make a shallow opening in each cookie spoonful, take the femme moon blood and hold in menstrual cup as a chalice above with the rose quartz on your heart. Do three guttural sighs with the moon blood. Release the moon blood into a safe disposal for toxic waste.
Fill each opening with an extra cluster of chocolate chips. Seal closed with the rabbits paw.
Bake for about ten minutes in the preheated oven or until the edges are nicely browned.
During those ten minutes, write any past trauma you’ve had on a maple leaf, rip into many pieces and blow out an open window, shouting “Goddess bless!” three times.
After the cookies are cooled, endow each one with a mantra when handed to their recipient in the Communion procession. You should be placing the cookie on the recipient’s tongue while whispering the mantra and looking into their eyes.
And that’s it! Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! Enjoy those scrumptious cookies!
