Congratulations! You, an improviser, are about to have sex! But this isn’t an excuse to let your training in the art of improvisation slide. Instead, think of it as an opportunity to enhance your improv skills in a new setting… the bedroom!
Setting the Mood
Playing the right music can help set the stage, much like the improviser knows that basic piano music, a spotlight on a half-second delay and four semi-broken chairs in a black box theater signal that some hot improvisation is about to start.
Remember to focus on the task at hand and not let yourself get distracted by the lyrics of whatever sexy music you play, otherwise you may find yourself breaking off your makeout session to sing all the words to Will Smith’s “Miami,” well, because you can!
Dirty Talk
There’s nothing an improviser loves more than punny wordplay, so why not use heightening to make it porny words for your foreplay? (See what we did there? IMPROV!) Here, every situation is an opportunity to flex your sexy creative muscles. Emptying the dishwasher? I’ve got something else to unload later tonight! Picking up a prescription? Doctor, sounds like I’ve got a case of THAT DICK. You get the idea.
Use Your Hands
Your partner won’t object to a little light… OBJECT work before you hit the hay. Remember to establish VERY SPECIFIC details here before engaging in any actual sex. Your partner may be so tired after an intense 45 minutes of watching you pretend to peel an orange they may want to press pause for the rest of the evening, but they’ll know in their hearts you were really peeling off their clothes!
Oral
Improvisers are used to being generous and helping their scene partner look good, so going it alone in a sexual “monologue,” if you will, can seem a bit daunting, but fear not – this is your time to shine! Good at impressions? Show off your best impression of someone who is good at oral sex while your partner relaxes. Or try a vocal warmup while your mouth is on your partner’s genitals for a vibrating sensation. If all else fails and your partner is male, you can use his penis as a microphone and practice your tight five-minute standup set.
*tap tap* Is this thing TURNED ON?
Role-playing
This is an improviser’s dream! Set the mood by coming up with a sexy scenario for you and your partner: boss/secretary, fireman and cat stuck in a tree, Trader Joe’s cashier and a tin of Justin’s peanut butter cups… the possibilities are endless! Just make sure your scenarios punch UP, since improv is all about leveling power imbalances.
For instance, maybe the secretary is a whistleblower exposing her boss for insider trading, or maybe the cat reminds the fireman of his first true love: ballet dancing. (Have you ever been to an improv show? There are no wrong ideas!)
Advanced Level
Maybe you’ve already gone through the introductory courses and are ready for the main stage, like bringing in a third and doing sweep passes whenever you get tired, or inviting some audience participation. (There’s a reason they seat you so close together at improv shows and ply you with drinks!)
Since you’ve already mastered the above, you’ll be ready to unzip and zap until you zop!
