Close Menu
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Robot Butt
    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      Tubi Tuesday: Movies Where Dogs Fight Crime

      July 21, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Here’s Every Film In The Gods Not Dead Cinematic Universe

      July 7, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Moonlighting (1982)

      June 30, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: The Hellraiser Sequels Should Have Copied The Critters Sequels

      June 23, 2026

      FUN & HARMLESS WAYS TO MOTIVATE YOUR BLUES MUSICIAN BFF

      May 12, 2026

      EVERY LEGAL CHARGE BY HIS MAJESTY’S GOVERNMENT AGAINST “THE ANDREW FORMERLY KNOWN AS PRINCE”

      May 4, 2026

      Jelly Roll and Post Malone Embark On “We’re The Same Guy” Tour 

      April 29, 2026

      COUNTRY SONG TITLES FOR DOGS

      February 18, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Movies Where Dogs Fight Crime

      July 21, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Attack Of The Super Monsters

      July 14, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Here’s Every Film In The Gods Not Dead Cinematic Universe

      July 7, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Moonlighting (1982)

      June 30, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About A Prawn

      June 13, 2026

      Two Cartoons About Apples

      June 11, 2026

      A Cartoon About Pocket Notebooks

      May 31, 2026

      You Won’t Believe How Much This Panel From A 1950’s Horror Comic Is Still Scary Today

      May 18, 2026

      PAPPY’S ICED TEA

      June 21, 2026

      This End Up

      June 7, 2026

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Coffee Comrades

      February 26, 2026
    • History

      Happy Day 6 Of Wimbledon 2026 And Literally Nothing Else

      July 4, 2026

      The Muse

      June 26, 2026

      Local Theatre Group Reimagines Rent As Nineteenth Century Opera 

      June 22, 2026

      Report Card Comments for William, Duke of Normandy

      June 15, 2026

      Top Hegseth-Like Quotes Throughout History, And From My Neighbor Phil

      May 3, 2026
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      What Happens When Major AIs Try Using Remote Control Vibrators

      July 12, 2026

      Flatulence Without Borders: All Systems Go

      July 8, 2026

      Scientists Say Newly Discovered InstaCart Receipts Reveal Surprising, Interesting Insights Into Habits, Lifestyle of Blue Whales

      June 20, 2026

      We Put These AI Features in Your Faucet Whether You Like it Or Not

      May 20, 2026

      I Have Become A Haiku Master

      July 5, 2026

      Local Airline Pilot Takes Train To Work

      April 2, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      “Best in Show” Extreme Breed Makeover

      July 20, 2026

      How the Suburban Half Lives

      July 16, 2026

      Welcome to GoodLuck Insurance

      July 13, 2026

      YOU WON’T BELIEVE HOW IT HAPPENED! A FACEBOOK FABLE

      July 10, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      “Best in Show” Extreme Breed Makeover

      July 20, 2026

      DAT ASS Is Going To Revolutionize—And Democratize—Professional Sports As We Know It

      July 11, 2026

      Travis Kelce Misses One-Day Window To Return His Tux To Men’s Wearhouse

      July 6, 2026

      Happy Day 6 Of Wimbledon 2026 And Literally Nothing Else

      July 4, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      Mitch McConnell Reportedly “Alive And Well,” According To Friends

      July 14, 2026

      Travis Kelce Misses One-Day Window To Return His Tux To Men’s Wearhouse

      July 6, 2026

      TRUMP SPORTING HEADLINES PREDICTED TO APPEAR THIS SUMMER

      June 17, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      SPONSORED POST: Two Lawyers Standing Back To Back On A Billboard

      May 23, 2026

      Inspired By Drake’s Work Ethic, We’re Going To Try To Release Three Articles On The Same Day

      May 15, 2026

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      Mitch McConnell Reportedly “Alive And Well,” According To Friends

      July 14, 2026

      Travis Kelce Misses One-Day Window To Return His Tux To Men’s Wearhouse

      July 6, 2026

      TRUMP SPORTING HEADLINES PREDICTED TO APPEAR THIS SUMMER

      June 17, 2026

      SPONSORED POST: Two Lawyers Standing Back To Back On A Billboard

      May 23, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      Tubi Tuesday: Movies Where Dogs Fight Crime

      July 21, 2026

      “Best in Show” Extreme Breed Makeover

      July 20, 2026

      How the Suburban Half Lives

      July 16, 2026

      Mitch McConnell Reportedly “Alive And Well,” According To Friends

      July 14, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Movies Where Dogs Fight Crime

      July 21, 2026

      “Best in Show” Extreme Breed Makeover

      July 20, 2026

      How the Suburban Half Lives

      July 16, 2026

      Mitch McConnell Reportedly “Alive And Well,” According To Friends

      July 14, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Movies Where Dogs Fight Crime

      July 21, 2026

      “Best in Show” Extreme Breed Makeover

      July 20, 2026

      How the Suburban Half Lives

      July 16, 2026

      Mitch McConnell Reportedly “Alive And Well,” According To Friends

      July 14, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Home»All Content»The Hub»Articles»Life»Tips for Buying Your First Suit
    Life

    Tips for Buying Your First Suit

    Brian BooneBy Brian BooneMay 17, 2019Updated:May 17, 2019No Comments3 Mins Read
    Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email
    Man Tying Tie on Suit

    Look, guys. You’re an adult now, and that means dressing the part – get yourself a nice suit. They’re not too expensive, and you’re going to need one for all kinds of things: weddings for when your friends start getting married, important job interviews, and, at some point, your dad’s funeral. There are a lot of suits out there, and it’s hard to know where to start, especially if your dad, who would have given you a hand at this kind of thing, has died. We got you on this one, bro.

    Color. Grey? Tan? Black? That’s the one. If you’re going to have just one suit, a black one will do the trick. It’s a slimming color, it never goes out of fashion, and it’s versatile. You’ll look right in place at any suit-wearing occasion. Bonus: Black is the traditional color of mourning in the West, so you can wear it to a funeral. (You won’t have the time or energy to go out and buy a new black suit right before, for example, your dad’s funeral.)

    Pockets. Some suit manufacturers will cut corners by not including pockets in suit jackets. Come on, you’re a guy – you don’t carry a purse, so you need as many places as possible to stash your wallet, phone, keys, etc. Make sure that your suit’s jacket has a nice breast pocket – not too big, not too small – but large enough that it can fit a folded-up piece of paper upon which you’ve written, say, a eulogy for your dad that you will read at his funeral.

    Cut. There aren’t many elements of a suit that can be designed radically different, which explains why the size of lapels grows and shrinks over time. Get a suit with lapels of medium width, not too thin and not too broad. This suit needs to outlast passing trends. Fashion fads die, much like people. Much like your dad.

    Fabric. You’ll want to get your suit professionally cleaned before you wear it to major events, but you don’t want to have to wash it yourself all the time. Opt for a fabric that’s been treated with stain-repellent materials. You could easily ruin a brand-new suit forever by using a jacket sleeve to wipe away tears at your dad’s funeral, or spilling food on the pants at a post-funeral reception.

    Get it tailored. Buying your first suit is a great time to establish a relationship with a tailor. They’ll have your measurements on file (saving you the trouble and embarrassment of having to do that more than is necessary), and if you’re a preferred customer, they’ll do little extra things for you. Some might throw in a free pocket square, or others might offer rush service if, say, you need a suit by Friday because your dad’s funeral is on Saturday.

    Brian Boone
    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Brian Boone

    Brian Boone writes comedy and trivia on many corners of the internet, and also in books, which still exist. He shamed his family by losing on 'Jeopardy!' You can pester him on Twitter: @brianbooone.

    Related Posts

    “Best in Show” Extreme Breed Makeover

    July 20, 2026

    How the Suburban Half Lives

    July 16, 2026

    Welcome to GoodLuck Insurance

    July 13, 2026

    Comments are closed.

    Search Robot Butt
    Read More Robot Butt

    The 50 Best Movies of the 1990s

    NASA History: What Were the Objectives of Every Apollo Mission?

    These Are the Weirdest Promotions in Major League Baseball History

    The Robot Butt Podcasts
    Robot Butt Podcasts

    Check out the Robot Butt Podcasts and then give a listen to our friends below:

    ROGUE SQUADRON PODCAST

    Star Wars, beer, music, video games and more!
    The Robot Butt Videos
    Robot Butt Videos

    Unrelenting comedy in video form!
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram Pinterest
    © 2026 ThemeSphere. Designed by ThemeSphere.

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.