“You have to understand that Trump isn’t a politician, he’s a very rich person who doesn’t necessarily understand political norms or the bare-minimum basics of human interaction.”
“He’s not politically correct. And that’s a good thing! Everyone is so sensitive these days. What? How dare you call me a white male!”
“The media attacking him like this for every little word is why he’s so popular with racists!”
“You have to remember that Democrats have said things before too. And some of those things people may not have liked.”
“What about abortion, though?”
“Gillette made a whole ad about how men shouldn’t be complete jerks. Where’s the outcry from liberals about that?”
“Successful business people talk this way. It’s a little off-color maybe, but harmless. And while the president does not meet any objective standard to be classified among the group ‘successful business people,’ I am classifying him as such for the purpose of my argument and because he was on TV.”
“What’s the big deal? A black kid that went to my middle school called me a cracker once and you don’t hear me talking about that except for right now and most other days for the past forty years.”
“Remember, the Supreme Court is very evenly divided, and one seat makes a world of difference.”
“I am being strong-armed by Russian operatives and I too believe that thing Trump said is fine.”
“The rapture is happening soon anyway, so who cares?”
“Look, you can’t parse every word the president says. He’s not actually a fully-formed adult, he is an overgrown baby wearing a suit. It’s kind of adorable when you think about it. An actual baby. In a suit! And he’s president. Why isn’t the media more impressed by his accomplishments? A giant baby president! There should be a movie about this! In fact, considering that he’s a baby, it’s remarkable he knows so many words and can use them sometimes. And he hasn’t thrown a tantrum in at least a day or so. No throwing toys or kicking and screaming on the floor. In a whole day. Two, maybe! Tell me what other baby has that kind of self-control? It’s incredible. So the bottom line is that you wouldn’t blame a baby for saying that thing, you would be proud of him for speaking at all. That’s how I feel about the president. I’m very proud of him for using his words, even if they are problematic, and yes, I fully believe he is the best baby man to lead our country and I support him one hundred percent!”
