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    Home»All Content»Uncanny Valley»Breaking News»Wacky Neighbor Falls Down During Cancer Announcement
    Breaking News

    Wacky Neighbor Falls Down During Cancer Announcement

    Robot Butt News Corp.By Robot Butt News Corp.March 18, 2017Updated:April 5, 2022No Comments2 Mins Read
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    Heart Attack Guy

    MINNEAPOLIS – Neighborhood cut-up Joe Johansson was in the middle of his tearful announcement of contracting liver cancer to the residents of Laurelwood cul-de-sac when he tumbled comically onto the ground, a move everyone agreed was “classic Johansson.”

    “That’s so Joe!” said next-door neighbor Susan Henderson. “He’s always wearing these crazy Hawaiian shirts and making margaritas. He’s just such a hoot.” Johansson, who was recently diagnosed with advanced angiosarcoma, had called over his neighbors under the guise of an “early spring party.” By all accounts, Joe’s recent addition of a Tiki chocolate fountain was a big hit.

    “Joe is always running some kind of new money-making plan,” according to Henderson. “Last year he was buying up old Game Boys and re-selling them on eBay. And now this whole GoFundMe thing. What will he think of next?”

    Johansson was unavailable for comment as he was being rushed to the hospital. Without the life of the party to keep things moving, the gathering ended shortly after Johansson’s silly spill. “Bob Garner tried his best to entertain us, but he really only has that one story about meeting William Shatner in Boca, and we’ve all heard it before,” Henderson said before sticking a note on Joe’s pineapple-shaped door knocker, apologizing for not cleaning up the mess.

    “That thing gets me every time!” she said, walking away and laughing.

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