“My allergies always got in the way of my everyday life, so I always assumed they would get in the way of my love life. I never thought love wouldn’t make me sneeze until I tried AhhChoo! I have met so many great guys who are also allergic to the sun, and when I signed up they sent me condoms that didn’t send me to the emergency room!”
– Chelsea Heavens, 26 New York, NY
You couldn’t play with the rest of the kids at recess. You can’t eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You can’t pet a dog, look at a cat, or see a picture of a shrimp without getting all red and itchy on the inside (and the outside). If you went to a sleepover and forgot your inhaler, forget about it! You had to call your mom in the middle of Spice World to come pick you up, so you’ve never known how it ends.
Your life is and has always been defined by your allergies—but not anymore! AhhChoo! is the dating app exclusively curated for people with life-threatening allergies.
How it works:
- First, make your allergy profile. By tapping the corresponding graphics, you can check off which allergies you have. These include but are not limited to: dogs, cats, peanuts, birds, bees, soy, semen, shellfish, books, sun, candles, rain, jerks. Please note: gluten is not a real allergy and if that’s why you’re here, go fuck yourself.
- Please be specific about the foods you can and can’t eat, and the places you can and can’t go to. If you’re on any medication, please put it in your profile. This sounds like TMI, but we promise this helps us narrow down the best matches for your allergies!
- Next, fill out your personality profile. Are you rich? Religious? A student? A CEO? A nut case who’s allergic to nuts? Did your family have to resort to artificial Christmas trees because the real one almost killed you? Still traumatized by all the kids at school who made fun of you because you had to go to a special indoor sleep away camp because the outside makes you wheeze? Okay, that’s enough questions. The point is, don’t hold back. The more you share, the more likely you will find love in a sneezeless place.
- Add some pics! If you can handle the great outdoors, the AhhChoo! team encourages you to show it off. It’s not bragging, it just lets people know that you’ve conquered your allergies and you don’t care who knows it. Other pics that we’d love to see: sexy selfies with your inhaler, hospital selfies, selfies with your moms!
- To complete your profile, please provide a detailed list of past hospitalizations. This helps us (and your potential lovers) know where you’ve lived. And who knows? Maybe you and your soulmate (or can we say SNEEZEmate?) have been hospitalized at the same hospital at the same time for the same allergy.
And there you go! Now you’re ready to find love in you congested, itchy and uncomfortable world. AhhChoo! is completely free, and you must be at least 21 years old to join. Once you’ve signed up and completed your profile, we will send you complimentary allergy-free condoms, sponsored by Claritin.
