WASHINGTON – Experts worldwide are increasingly coming to the consensus that things will soon be getting worse. Additionally, most of these experts also agree that things will get far, far worse after that. While there are a few optimistic outliers, there is a near consensus on this issue, with “worsening” being the prevailing finding.
“I don’t know what to tell you, it ain’t going to be getting any better anytime soon,” said Michelle Darby, a leading expert on these sorts of things. “I’ve been keeping an eye on things for a while, and we’re definitely looking at a trend of them getting worse. Everyone seems to be fairly okay with that, so I can definitely see them getting even worse after that.”
When asked what could be done to prevent this from happening, Darby foresaw action from a large group of people as the only real course of action. “It’s gonna take a lot of people to prevent these things from getting worse,” she said. “And then after that it will probably take some more action from some more people. But hey, what are you gonna do?”
At press time, scientists confirmed it had indeed gotten worse, but that there remained “a lot more shit that can happen.”