Author: Walt Braley

For over a decade, the one thing keeping most of the population from finally deleting their Facebook and getting out of Zuck’s surveillance state is knowing that it’s the main hub for sharing photos of their new, classic, or just badass truck. We’ve put in the work and found other places you can share your truck photos, so that you can finally get rid of that pesky Facebook! Instagram It is marginally better than Facebook because my uncle isn’t on it (yet). Local Community Boards and Light Poles The whole point is to get your truck seen by your peers,…

In a confounding decision, my workplace has decided that financial bonuses will be divvied out using the same system as Mario Party Bonus Stars. The email blast made it very clear that my hard work and the landslide of mini-games I won will have no effect at all on my chances of getting a bonus. Instead, it appears that Jeremy from AP is getting a “steps traveled” bonus for opening the break room fridge the most times this year, and Linda from marketing is getting the “unlucky” one for being the employee who lost the most company money this year,…

A normal cartoon about Christmas trees and what they’re thinking on the big day.

Having to wait for new games to install even when you have them on disc is ruining Christmas. Not to go on one of my classic boomer rants, but remember when Guitar Hero 2 came out and I was allowed to open it on Christmas Eve night? Remember how I played it so late into the night that I woke my dad up and he came into my room in just his boxers and yelled at me to go to sleep? Then I spent most of Christmas Day just wishing I could go back home from my grandparents house and…

Stop. Do not respond. Do not try to convince yourself that Aunt Penny might need your shirt size for something else. She doesn’t. The thing you fear most has come to fruition. You’re now typing your actual size and telling yourself “it can’t be that bad. It’ll end up being Stranger Things or a sports team I’m vaguely familiar with.” STOP. Need I remind you this is the same woman who gave Jake an inflatable poop pool ball last year? Did you just love watching your little cousin bounce a poop the size of the big stone balls outside a…

Totally… Yeah totally… 100%… I completely agree… Right, it’s sooo dope that the magic hat brought that snowman to life. So dope… But also, just kind throwing this out there, wouldn’t that top hat look really sick on me? No, yeah, for sure. I think you misunderstood me. I definitely think it’s a Christmas miracle that the snowman the Peterson’s kids built came to life. I also love the snowman. What? Oh, yeah, I heard about that. He like saved the Peterson family’s flower shop or something? Kind of not that weird that their flower store is struggling during the…

I’ve decided that this year, I’m treating Christmas exactly like Ray’s birthday party, Cynthia’s bridal shower, and Joe’s weekly Magic The Gathering night. I’m only going if I can confirm that no one I don’t want to be around is also going. It’s honestly pretty simple. I was invited to a party happening at my childhood home the night of the 24th and morning of the 25th. I am simply waiting to RSVP (text my mom I’ll be there) until I find out if any of these people are also invited and/or going to show up: Uncle Rob, my cousin…

This universal and relatable lifehack can be used by just about anyone this holiday season. It’s simple, effective, and will probably not lower your current status with your ex-wife any lower than it already is at this juncture. The next time you meet your ex to drop off your kids (4 and 6) on a Sunday afternoon, casually slip in during your goodbyes that you asked Santa for a Nintendo Switch 2. The entire ride back to their mom and Derek’s house, they will (assumedly) talk about how exciting that is and how cool it is that Santa is getting…

I have done a number of “if you come to this show I’ll do blank!” posts in the last year, and the only one I’ve ever had payoff was the one where if anyone yelled out “do the Dew” I would chug a Mountain Dew. It turned out, in that instance, my wife told them to yell that. So this time, no funny business. No games. No challenges. I am simply bringing a box of Robot Butt shirts to our show this Thursday night at Second City, and if you come to the show, I will give you one. Just…

I love making dumb fake marketing materials for things that don’t exist and simply could never exist and then posting those things to this website and pretending we made them earnestly. That’s all that this image should be. The visual is funny to me. The perfect nails. The little writing that says “cheeseburger” right under what is obviously a cheeseburger. It’s just a solid goof. If I had made this post the way I intended, the headline would have been “Hurry! This Burger Is On Sale But ONLY This One!” or something. The piece would have had lots of all…