Look, maybe this is my fault for parking myself at the urinal closest to the door in this ginormous, empty airport bathroom. But how the hell was I supposed to know that, as I was midway through the process of unzipping my pants, you would barge in, whip out your junk, and start relieving yourself RIGHT NEXT TO ME? Seriously, there are at least ten other urinals and about five stalls in this bathroom. I would look around to count, but I don’t want to accidentally look at your private parts and seem like a creep. To really demonstrate the…
Author: Jaemin Feldman
Jaemin Feldman
Jaemin is a staff writer for the Harvard Lampoon and a member of the Immediate Gratification Players improv troupe. His work has been featured in Weekly Humorist and Slackjaw.