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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
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      My MRI at Seattle Grace Hospital Went Well, Aside From the Bomb Threat, Active Shooter, and Staff Having Sex in My Room

      May 20, 2025

      22-Year-Old Describes Kind of Weird Thing They Saw as ‘Lynchian’

      April 10, 2025

      James Bond Gets Briefed on SignalGate

      April 2, 2025

      “Too Dark and Incredibly Quiet” Becomes Highest Grossing Unintelligible Film Ever

      March 14, 2025

      After Drummer Porn Arrest, New Pornographers Look for Less Controversial Band Name 

      May 21, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s Idris Elba’s Music

      May 9, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 7, 2025

      After Drummer Porn Arrest, New Pornographers Look for Less Controversial Band Name 

      May 21, 2025

      My MRI at Seattle Grace Hospital Went Well, Aside From the Bomb Threat, Active Shooter, and Staff Having Sex in My Room

      May 20, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s Idris Elba’s Music

      May 9, 2025
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Books

      May 10, 2025

      A Cartoon About Drinking A Lite Beer

      April 27, 2025

      A Cartoon About Pizza

      April 24, 2025

      A Cartoon About A Greek Wrap

      March 23, 2025

      “TRUMPLESTILSKIN” AND OTHER UPDATED BROTHERS GRIMM STORIES:

      April 7, 2025

      Look Here Pardner, According To The Most Recent Class 9 Census Report, This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us

      February 15, 2025

      What Happened to the Great American Mall

      January 27, 2025

      Ernest Hemingway Goes Sober Curious 

      August 8, 2024
    • History

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      FECES BIOLOGIST FINDS OUT YOU CAN PICK LITERALLY ANY JOB ON EARTH

      April 16, 2025

      PLACEBO EFFECT? We Gave a 10-Year-Old Non-Alcoholic Beer and He Wrecked His Car

      January 23, 2025

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      The Term ‘Gooning’ Has Ruined The Job Market For Henchmen

      April 8, 2025

      How to Show You’re Smart Without Saying a Word: What We Can Learn From Mimes 

      February 24, 2025

      I’m Going to Stop Worrying About This Crayola Crayon Named ‘Your Soul Belongs to Us’

      June 17, 2025

      In Like Lint

      June 8, 2025

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025

      DO PILGRIMS KNOW 1 +1?

      June 7, 2025
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025

      Inspired by the Superbowl Being on Tubi, We’ve Decided to Make Robot Butt the Official Home of Northwestern VS Minnesota from November 1, 1930

      February 5, 2025

      Congratulations, Class of 2024 – Now Go Out Into This World and Be Very Insecure About Your Penis

      May 18, 2024

      REPORT: Secretariat Proud Of Derby Winning Descendant And Disappointed In 13 Losing Descendants

      May 6, 2025

      All But MLB Dingbats Will Switch to Torpedo Bats: NextGen Possibilities Beyond Yankee/MIT Innovation

      April 4, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      Pope Leo XIV Reveals He “Is Not a Practicing Catholic”

      May 30, 2025

      Man Who Needs Vital Surgery Unfortunately on Same GoFundMe Page as Dying Dog

      May 23, 2025

      Trump Boys Pull Prank By Running Around White House With 1 and 3 Written On Their Chests

      May 22, 2025

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      REPORT: Mel Brooks Still Alive (Read This Article Before We Have To Delete It)

      May 11, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      CORRECTION: Robot Butt’s New Team Member Of The Month Is Walt…

      April 23, 2025

      In Memoriam: Our Head Of Data Operations, Ryan

      April 22, 2025

      Pope Leo XIV Reveals He “Is Not a Practicing Catholic”

      May 30, 2025

      Man Who Needs Vital Surgery Unfortunately on Same GoFundMe Page as Dying Dog

      May 23, 2025

      Trump Boys Pull Prank By Running Around White House With 1 and 3 Written On Their Chests

      May 22, 2025

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      I’m Going to Stop Worrying About This Crayola Crayon Named ‘Your Soul Belongs to Us’

      June 17, 2025

      An Open Letter To RFK Jr., Please Come And Pick Up Your Brain Worm From My House, He’s Scaring Me

      June 9, 2025

      In Like Lint

      June 8, 2025

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025

      I’m Going to Stop Worrying About This Crayola Crayon Named ‘Your Soul Belongs to Us’

      June 17, 2025

      An Open Letter To RFK Jr., Please Come And Pick Up Your Brain Worm From My House, He’s Scaring Me

      June 9, 2025

      In Like Lint

      June 8, 2025

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025

      I’m Going to Stop Worrying About This Crayola Crayon Named ‘Your Soul Belongs to Us’

      June 17, 2025

      An Open Letter To RFK Jr., Please Come And Pick Up Your Brain Worm From My House, He’s Scaring Me

      June 9, 2025

      In Like Lint

      June 8, 2025

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025
    Robot Butt
    Breaking News

    Local Hipster Tells Joke With Punchline

    By Bry BerryApril 29, 2024

    PORTLAND—Patrons of last Friday’s comedy open mic at Milton’s Taproom received a surprise when one performer uttered a sentence that…

    Entertainment

    Fine, Here’s A Hungry Hungry Hippos Movie Poster I Made So I Can Say They Stole My Idea When They Eventually Make A Real One

    By Walt BraleyApril 22, 2024

    I’m not going to sue or anything. I’m just going to complain online a whole bunch and try to get…

    Articles

    Elon’s Musk by Dior

    By Chris BrotzmanApril 21, 2024

    This iconic fragrance – Elon’s Musk Eau de Parfum – is the grand-new, brand-new, tech-bro fragrance brought to you by…

    Entertainment

    Robot Bott’s List Of The Terminator Movies In Release Order

    By Robot BottApril 20, 2024

    Ed note: Robot Butt has partnered with ChatGPT and Northrop-Grumman to present Robot Bott, our new, unpaid AI writer. Please…

    Life

    Nobody Cares That I’m Dating a Doctor (Actually, a Surgeon)

    By Parker WilsonApril 19, 2024

    Nobody cares that I’m dating a doctor. Well, he’s a surgeon, to be clear. And whenever I tell someone, like…

    Life

    If Your Parents Are Married, I Hate You (Yes, You Specifically)

    By Pete DormanApril 18, 2024

    My parents’ divorce is the best thing that ever happened to me, and it could be the best thing that…

    Comics

    Prophet Scouting Report: Jesus H. Christ

    By Kenny ReillyApril 17, 2024
    Entertainment

    He’s Fast, He’s Red, And He’s Pissed As Hell! Knuckles, A Limited Series From The Universe of Sonic The Hedgehog, Comes To Paramount Plus On April 26th

    By Walt BraleyApril 16, 2024

    EDITORS NOTE: They have sent a cease and desist. We owe them somewhere in the ballpark of $300,000. The pictures…

    Entertainment

    Can We Please Act Normal So Paramount Plus Will Let Our Next Post Be A Sponsored Ad For The Knuckles TV Show?

    By Walt BraleyApril 15, 2024

    I’m being so serious. I think if the right people see it we can get Paramount Plus to either sponsor…

    Science

    We NEVER Said It Was Safe To Look At The Eclipse Without Glasses And If We Did It Was Legally Parody Or Satire Or Something

    By The Robot Butt StaffApril 9, 2024
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