Aunt – Short nouns have been hot baby names for a while, but your sister already named her kid after your Great Aunt Pearl. Double down and claim straight-up Aunt for your very own now while you still can!
Begin – On the other hand, why not transcend the nouns-as-names trend altogether? Secure your spot on the baby-naming cutting edge with a verb that will ring out over the playground with originality and urgency!
Dada – None more avant-garde, so take that, little Duchamp from Enfant Terrible, the local baby free jazz and improv class. Alternately, you can explain that the baby was named for his father.
Eleven – Righteously roll your eyes at both little Aryas in your breastfeeding support group, safe in the knowledge that your stranger little thing will have the cutest newborn photo shoot – she’s already bald, after all! Plop her in a baby bathtub/sensory deprivation tank, pick some grimy filters, and start shooting!
Henry – Yes, still
Isosceles – Triangles are the best design element, right? Your engagement ring is a champagne diamond in a triangular rose gold setting + your baby’s name is Isosceles = you are unstoppable.
Joyce (boys only) – Your college roommate is a giant Otis Redding fan and he named his son Redding. Why didn’t he just use Otis? It doesn’t matter, because guess what, you’re a giant James Joyce fan and you named your son Joyce! Why didn’t you just use James? Go to hell, that’s why.
Rundgren – If you’re not ready to name your son Joyce – and I’m a little disappointed in you if that’s the case – but you still want your kid to fit in with future classmates Redding, Coltrane, Woolf, and Stipe, maybe now is the time to become a big Todd Rundgren fan. He did interesting things with quadrophonic sound and “Hello, It’s Me” is a great song/baby shower theme.
Wee-Bey – When you name your kid Wee-Bey, you will silently, forcefully answer the question “You saw The Wire, right?” once and for all.
Yonkers – Because Brooklyn, in every possible way, is over.
