Honey, I’m Sorry I Didn’t Call Before My Arm Was Replaced With a Laser-Guided Proton Ray
Oct16

Honey, I’m Sorry I Didn’t Call Before My Arm Was Replaced With a Laser-Guided Proton Ray

I’m sorry, honey. I screwed up. I should have told you I would be home late. I should have told you I was going drinking with the guys. Most of all, I should have told you I was having my arm replaced with a laser-guided proton ray. That’s on me. Please know that when the night started it wasn’t my intention to have my arm replaced with a laser-guided proton ray. I was just supposed to get a quick beer with Tom and Mitch...

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A Guide to Puberty for My AI Son
Sep12

A Guide to Puberty for My AI Son

To my sweet guy: You may have some questions about what’s happening to your body. Your implanted brain is going to be sending signals down to your motherboard and you may not know what those mean or how to program yourself to feel. Here are a few things that will be changing that mommy and daddy wanted to help explain. Change #1: Fluids Sometimes, when a bot gets excited about something or someone, it begins to excrete fluids. It will...

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EPA Meeting Notes From the Year 2100
Sep11

EPA Meeting Notes From the Year 2100

EPA Senior Staff Meeting: February 1, 2100 New Trump Tower, Island of Philadelphia Chaired by Acting Director in light of recent events. Multiple staff members complained about dangers of travel during the excessive “hell-like” heat that is mysteriously prevalent during the daytime hours of winter. An agreement was reached to hold future meetings via VR. Weather Robots predict imminent flooding along the Ohio and Kentucky coastlines....

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Let’s Talk About Supermassive Black Holes With Astrophysicist Dr. Brooke Simmons
Feb17

Let’s Talk About Supermassive Black Holes With Astrophysicist Dr. Brooke Simmons

  Dr. Brooke Simmons is an astrophysicist researching galaxies and black holes, specifically the co-evolution of supermassive black holes and their host galaxies. When she isn’t spending her time figuring out the mysteries of the universe, she is also on the Zooniverse and Galaxy Zoo teams, which allow regular people to contribute to scientific research, such as the study of why so many people effortlessly break the Prime...

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