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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      22-Year-Old Describes Kind of Weird Thing They Saw as ‘Lynchian’

      April 10, 2025

      James Bond Gets Briefed on SignalGate

      April 2, 2025

      “Too Dark and Incredibly Quiet” Becomes Highest Grossing Unintelligible Film Ever

      March 14, 2025

      Rewrite Notes from the New White House Office of Cultural Redemption

      March 7, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s Idris Elba’s Music

      May 9, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 7, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s Idris Elba’s Music

      May 9, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 7, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Books

      May 10, 2025

      A Cartoon About Drinking A Lite Beer

      April 27, 2025

      A Cartoon About Pizza

      April 24, 2025

      A Cartoon About A Greek Wrap

      March 23, 2025

      “TRUMPLESTILSKIN” AND OTHER UPDATED BROTHERS GRIMM STORIES:

      April 7, 2025

      Look Here Pardner, According To The Most Recent Class 9 Census Report, This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us

      February 15, 2025

      What Happened to the Great American Mall

      January 27, 2025

      Ernest Hemingway Goes Sober Curious 

      August 8, 2024
    • History

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      FECES BIOLOGIST FINDS OUT YOU CAN PICK LITERALLY ANY JOB ON EARTH

      April 16, 2025

      PLACEBO EFFECT? We Gave a 10-Year-Old Non-Alcoholic Beer and He Wrecked His Car

      January 23, 2025

      To Chimp or Not to Chimp? A New Proposal to Save the Shakespeare Typewriter Experiment

      November 11, 2024

      New Study Shows Thirty Percent of Bat Boys in Major League Baseball Evolve Into Vampires

      September 29, 2024

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      The Term ‘Gooning’ Has Ruined The Job Market For Henchmen

      April 8, 2025

      How to Show You’re Smart Without Saying a Word: What We Can Learn From Mimes 

      February 24, 2025

      All the “Life Hacks” in the World Won’t Make that Term Any Less Annoying

      February 11, 2025

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      Ally? My Dad Threw Up Inside Of Hogwarts Castle

      May 13, 2025

      Screen Rides Mostly Suck. I Miss When Theme Park Rides Were Full Of Animatronics That Scared Kids, Malfunctioned All The Time, And Sucked You Off

      May 12, 2025

      People Love Relatable “Local Man” Articles And I Don’t Have Any Funny Ideas Today, So Here’s My Friend Joe’s Full Name And Address

      May 8, 2025
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025

      Inspired by the Superbowl Being on Tubi, We’ve Decided to Make Robot Butt the Official Home of Northwestern VS Minnesota from November 1, 1930

      February 5, 2025

      Congratulations, Class of 2024 – Now Go Out Into This World and Be Very Insecure About Your Penis

      May 18, 2024

      REPORT: Secretariat Proud Of Derby Winning Descendant And Disappointed In 13 Losing Descendants

      May 6, 2025

      All But MLB Dingbats Will Switch to Torpedo Bats: NextGen Possibilities Beyond Yankee/MIT Innovation

      April 4, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to the Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025

      Undergraduate Philosophy Students Receive Six-Figure Grant to Develop New Logical Fallacies

      April 28, 2025

      REPORT: Adam McKay Probably Excited to Make Movie Where Famous Actress Explains Tariffs 

      April 25, 2025

      TECHNOLOGY WIN! Sabrina Carpenter Added To Fortnite By Being Shrunk Down And Dropped Inside Big Computer

      April 19, 2025

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      CORRECTION: Robot Butt’s New Team Member Of The Month Is Walt…

      April 23, 2025

      In Memoriam: Our Head Of Data Operations, Ryan

      April 22, 2025

      Congrats To Robot Butt’s April Team Member Of The Month, Ryan!

      April 21, 2025

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to the Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025

      Undergraduate Philosophy Students Receive Six-Figure Grant to Develop New Logical Fallacies

      April 28, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      REPORT: Adam McKay Probably Excited to Make Movie Where Famous Actress Explains Tariffs 

      April 25, 2025
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to the Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025

      Leaked transcript of Donald Trump Finding Out Quatar Is Giving Him A Plane

      May 17, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to the Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025

      Leaked transcript of Donald Trump Finding Out Quatar Is Giving Him A Plane

      May 17, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to the Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025

      Leaked transcript of Donald Trump Finding Out Quatar Is Giving Him A Plane

      May 17, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025
    Robot Butt
    Thoughts

    What to Do When Your Wife Catches You Watching Porn Featuring the Female M&M’s Again

    By Steve DiMatteoAugust 21, 2020

    You’re a red-blooded man; you know it’s completely out of your control. The female M&M’s, those sultry sirens of the…

    Life

    Upgrade Your Pitiful Lifetime Alumni Membership to Super Double Diamond Lifetime Deluxe!

    By Brandon TalleyAugust 21, 2020

    Dear Valued Lifetime Alumni Association Member, We just want to take a moment and thank you again for your monetary…

    Thoughts

    Was It Wrong to Steal Data From Ten Million Users to Feed My Starving Family?

    By Ryan WeberAugust 20, 2020

    I love hypothetical moral dilemmas, like “Is it right to redirect a trolley to run over five people?” or “If…

    Entertainment

    The 2020 Collection of Sleep Stories, Presented by Calm

    By Matt MortimerAugust 19, 2020

    American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver 120 Days of Sodom by…

    Entertainment

    I’m Bobby Flay’s Pepper Mill and I Won’t Be Treated Like This Any Longer

    By Nick BrigisAugust 18, 2020

    Am I a joke to you, Bobby? Then why do you treat me like it? You’re an iron chef, I…

    Politics

    How We Can Fix Everything With the Power of Compromise

    By Danny RathbunAugust 18, 2020

    This country is more divided today than it’s ever been; it seems like no one can agree on anything anymore.…

    Life

    The Six Fantastic Faces I Make at People From Underneath My Mask

    By Brian AbbeyAugust 18, 2020

    My eyes say smooth jazz, but my mouth is Coachella, day 2. Hungry Like the Wolf My eyes say: “It’s okay, kid.…

    Breaking News

    DNC Works to Control Spread of ‘Medicare for All’ Virus

    By Robot Butt News Corp.August 17, 2020

    WASHINGTON – Health officials at the Democratic National Committee have issued an alert to registered voters across the United States,…

    Politics

    Joe Biden’s Top Excuses for Refusing the Cognitive Abilities Test

    By Will McDonaldAugust 15, 2020

    Joe Biden made the media rounds last week as part of his work-from-home campaign strategy. When faced with tough questions regarding…

    Entertainment

    I’m the First AI Music Critic, and My Favorite Album Is a Bootleg Recording of a Dial-up Modem From 1996

    By Tomo LazovichAugust 14, 2020

    In the digital era, music is nothing more than a crafted sequence of ones and zeros transmitted to and from…

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